Who Is The Biggest Arsehole To Have Played For Morton?

[Toby]

What did Novo do wrong?

 

I felt he came here with honest intentions and was a model pro around the rest of the team. If memory serves me correctly; did he not hit the woodwork 3 times on his debut?

 

When Kenny Shiels came in, Novo was first out the door. Could have been reason for it but I thought it looked like Shiels was trying to show the rest of the team who's boss! Look how that turned out.

 

Nothing in particular during his time at Morton, but he's an odious little sh*te who panders to life's losers to the extent that he's actually got their mentality battered into him, and his negative influence on Ross Matheson's life didn't endear himself to me when I was considering possible candidates.

 

There were also Rangers Supporters Clubs/Orange Lodges/Flute Bands (delete as appropriate) advertising him turning up for sash bashes at 7.30 on Saturday nights after playing for us. 

 

He's a worthy candidate, and will remain.

[Ray Von]

Nothing in particular during his time at Morton, but he's an odious little sh*te who panders to life's losers to the extent that he's actually got their mentality battered into him, and his negative influence on Ross Matheson's life didn't endear himself to me when I was considering possible candidates.

 

There were also Rangers Supporters Clubs/Orange Lodges/Flute Bands (delete as appropriate) advertising him turning up for sash bashes at 7.30 on Saturday nights after playing for us.

 

He's a worthy candidate, and will remain.

Nothing up with a good sash bash.

[Scott]

Nothing in particular during his time at Morton, but he's an odious little sh*te who panders to life's losers to the extent that he's actually got their mentality battered into him, and his negative influence on Ross Matheson's life didn't endear himself to me when I was considering possible candidates.

 

There were also Rangers Supporters Clubs/Orange Lodges/Flute Bands (delete as appropriate) advertising him turning up for sash bashes at 7.30 on Saturday nights after playing for us. 

 

He's a worthy candidate, and will remain.

Did he not also offer a supporter a square go at one point? Think someone had a go at him on Twitter and he said to see him at the following game  

[Mr.Blue]

Hard to narrow it down to one, but I’ve went for Keenan after his antics the other night towards Tumilty.

 

Having a pop at a young player then when called out by a few Ton fans he begins shouting about being abused. An unbelievable level of hypocrisy.

 

The rosters who liked his tweet are just as bad. Looking forward to playing Thistle to give it to Tam “Tam” O’Ware, the ugly bastard.

Agreed. Keenan is a reptile.

[Mr.Blue]

Nothing in particular during his time at Morton, but he's an odious little sh*te who panders to life's losers to the extent that he's actually got their mentality battered into him, and his negative influence on Ross Matheson's life didn't endear himself to me when I was considering possible candidates.

 

There were also Rangers Supporters Clubs/Orange Lodges/Flute Bands (delete as appropriate) advertising him turning up for sash bashes at 7.30 on Saturday nights after playing for us.

 

He's a worthy candidate, and will remain.

Spot on. Novo is a cunt. I couldn't see past his shite with the currant buns.

[Andre Boe]

We really are spoiled for choice.

 

I'd say Brian Graham deserves a mention. His get it up ye celebration to the away fans after scoring at Dumbarton was absolutely embarrassing. I can understand players reacting if they are getting dogs abuse but he seemed to take the huff that day because one guy shouted at him to get onside.

 

I also seem to recall him mocking Tidser after he had scored an own goal up at Starks Park when he was at Raith.

[Jamie_M]

Paul McGowan

[so72]

Paul McGowan

A traitor and a p***k,he needs to be on the list.

[vikingTON]

McGowan did nothing wrong in the jersey and one of his major causes of offence was refusing to sign up for one of our shanfest campaigns. He’s one of Scottish football’s biggest bellends in general but doesn’t make the grade at The Famous. Our standards are as ever much higher than that.

[Clydeview]

We really are spoiled for choice.

 

I'd say Brian Graham deserves a mention. His get it up ye celebration to the away fans after scoring at Dumbarton was absolutely embarrassing. I can understand players reacting if they are getting dogs abuse but he seemed to take the huff that day because one guy shouted at him to get onside.

 

I also seem to recall him mocking Tidser after he had scored an own goal up at Starks Park when he was at Raith.

 

Brian Graham definitely in my top 3... big lump of wood that seemed to have a stinking attitude/massive ego.

[Urnie]

Brian Graham definitely in my top 3... big lump of wood that seemed to have a stinking attitude/massive ego.

Did Brian Graham tell you to fuck off when you tried to be his pal in Cafe Cuntonental?

[Toby]

So we've reached the first cut, and say goodbye to ten of our candidates.

 

A brief rundown of the lucky losers;

 

Garry O'Connor 2014

Who can forget fat Gaz? Coke head extrordinaire, and the signing that sums up the desperation of season 2013-14 more than any other. A former Scotland international who had played in the Scottish Cup Final only 18 months before joining, but hadn't actually played a senior game in the whole of 2013 after returning from Russia. Douglas Rae famously described him as "hopeless and unfit". In hindsight, we should've known that before signing him. One paltry goal in a 3-4 home defeat by Hamilton was all we got from his time, with the possible exception of a photo that can be used in response to Colin Darroch's posts.

 

Thanks for the memories Garry, you're off the hook.

 

 

Ally Maxwell 1998-2001

Ally Maxwell was actually very good for us, displacing long serving David Wylie in goal and took over as manager at a difficult time as the club spiralled into administration. Survival that season was of course unlikely, but he didn't help himself. Andy Carlin being perhaps his biggest victim. At 19 years old, playing in a struggling team he lost the plot with the support on Sinclair Street (the Cowshed at the time was rubble) after throwing in a goal against Inverness. His manager could of course have taken the pressure off his young goalkeeper and put in a more experienced pro to take the heat off him and perhaps save his career. If only there was an experienced alternative? Oh.

 

Pretty sure I also recall him complaining about not getting what he was owed by the club in spite of not turning up to creditors meetings and allowing the CVA to be agreed. No money, Ally, not making the cut, Ally. Cheerio.

 

 

Scott Bannerman 2001-05

I wasn't keen on Bannerman's inclusion. Had his moments, shouting at fans and square going weans online, but come on, that goal against Stenhousemuir in the first home game we were "back"? The winner in the title decider against Peterhead? Okay, he was also part of the team that failed so spectacularly the folllowing season, but he's got enough Brownie points to keep on my good side.

 

Hope all's well, Scott.

 

 

Andy Brownrigg 2000

You know what? I can't remember either of his two appearances for the club, but his most memorable contribution was going on strike after not being paid what he was promised as Mike Peden pretended to buy the club from Hugh Scott. You can't really blame the guy, can you?

 

Anyway, it's nice to see someone doing well when they leave the club, so here's an idea of how well received he was by the Buxton fans later in his career.

 

 

No hard feelings from me Andy, although I suspect you probably hold a grudge against Morton.

 

 

David Graham 2012-13

Serial title winner throughout his career- until of course he came to Morton. To be fair, he was part of our most successful team at this level in years, but just never endeared himself to the support. There were always stories of unrest involving him, and a Twitter blast after his eventual release expressing his delight that he was finally out of the club. So were we, David.

 

 

Dylan Kerr 2001-02

It was never going to happen for Dylan Kerr. The club was in turmoil, and spiralling towards a second relegation in a row. He'd had a decent career in England and won the cup with Kilmarnock, but there were too high expectations for an aging player with nothing left to give. And in truth, he wasn't really interested either. To his credit, he had a great left foot, and scored a fantastic free kick to put us 1-0 up against Forfar late that season. Only problem was that he then sold four goals as we lost 4-1. To Forfar. At home.

 

Perhaps the length of time has let him off the hook here, but he wasn't a popular figure. Hope all's well, Dylan.

 

 

Jamie McCluskey 2014-15

Another one that I wasn't having. He came in, did a job, won a medal and got released. He spat the dummy about it, but can you really blame him? He thought he merited a new deal, Duffy didn't. Nae luck mate.

 

 

Carlo Monti 2009-11

Let's be honest, he was a wee dick. Before he even arrived at the club, he had been in trouble with the law for leathering a boy to his permanent disfigurement (this might not be accurate, but I can't remember the details). He did arrive after the time of our most celebrated arseholes, and for a left back, had a very good goal scoring record- he was a very good penalty taker. However, when contract negotiations came up, he told the club to bolt. His prerogative, he obviously felt he could do better.

 

Where did he end up? Pollok. Never mind.

 

 

Kieran McAnespie 2007-09

Kieran's career was already on a downward trajectory when he arrived at Cappielow, and to be honest, I can't remember anything he did here- can anyone enlighten me? What I do know is that he went on to Arbroath, Stirling Ablion and the juniors whilst supplementing his income recording folk shagging.

 

It perhaps sums up how insignificant his contribution was that he didn't even register a vote in the first week in God knows how long that anyone's noticed him. And he blocked me on Twitter this week for liking someone else's Tweet about Dean Keenan. I didn't even follow you, dickhead.

 

 

Thomas O'Ware 2011-18

Some might say that it's harsh to include Thomas, given his longevity, goalscoring record and relative success at Morton. It's not. He's a dick. Surprising then that he didn't actually receive a vote, but with such a high calibre of candidate, competition is fierce. There were always tales of his arrogance and ego, but the straw that broke the camel's back for most was the announcement that he'd be going prior to the final game of last season. After a relatively poor season, it wasn't pleasant to hear that he'd been desperate to go the season before. Whether that affected his performances is doubtful, but he'll not be missed. Here's hoping he paid his £12 in yesterday.

 

 

Those of you who have voted for any of the above, please alter your votes for the next round.

[capitanus]

I also didn't think that Scott Bannerman deserved inclusion within the poll. He was an honest enough jobber and a grafter who came up with the goods at times when needed.

 

Of that era there were others who could be described as arseholes and would have merited inclusion, I'm thinking of the Maisano sisters and Peter Wetherston, and even Alex Williams who was a tremendous talent wasted.

[TaunTon]

I think your summations are pretty fair and pretty accurate. They certainly are also rans in the snake stakes.

[BishopBrennan]

I think your summations are pretty fair and pretty accurate. They certainly are also rans in the snake stakes.

Fairness really isn’t the point of this poll.

[TRVMP]

I kind of wished I'd voted for Tam just to keep him in the runnings but it's hard to disagree with much of the summary.

 

Keenan still running away with it and dark horse Fitzpatrick is the closest challenger.

[axeman]

Think McAnespie's main claim to fame in a game for us was his debut on parachute day. He took a free-kick down at The Wee Dublin End which hit the underside of the bar, bounced down seemingly over the line, came back out & Jim McAlister finished it off. That was it.

Then off course there came the naked table tennis tales with Mr Jobby On Demand and then the change of career to trying to film models while making sure the only noticeable fanny was him moving the camera.

[gorkir]

Boe the Cameroon keeper who was hopelesss and made a fool out of McGraw1

[TRVMP]

Boe the Cameroon keeper who was hopelesss and made a fool out of McGraw1

A bit like with Shimmin, much of that is on us for trusting him in the first place.

[so72]

I also didn't think that Scott Bannerman deserved inclusion within the poll. He was an honest enough jobber and a grafter who came up with the goods at times when needed.

 

Of that era there were others who could be described as arseholes and would have merited inclusion, I'm thinking of the Maisano sisters and Peter Wetherston, and even Alex Williams who was a tremendous talent wasted.

Peter Weatherson? Perhaps because I grew up watching him and he used to come to my school every year I have a skewed view but for me he is a legend.