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Coming soon - Panelists Dean McKinnon, Craig Dunning, Louise Rodgers, Evan McFarlane, Ewan Boyle and Cammy Middleton give their views on all things Morton. Keep your eyes peeled for match previews/reactions, feature topics and guest interviews.

I can just imagine everyone checking their phone at the same time to read the announcement "someone's having a jobby, so avoid the toilets".

Fun career facts: the entire last decade of Scott McLaughlin's 'career' was spent yo-yoing between the third and fourth tiers of the seaside leagues, with the singular exception of 2011/12 in which he got relegated from the second tier with a hopeless Queen of the South outfit, who punted him in the summer and promptly went on to romp the Second Division. Since being rightly emptied from The Famous in 2008, McLaughlin got relegated in every season that he subsequently played in the second tier (Airdrie x2, Queen of the South), also got relegated from the third tier with Albion Rovers in 2018 and even contrived to bottle two further play-offs in the fourth tier with Peterhead and Clyde. We are truly losing a giant of the Scottish game: goodnight sweet prince. x

Former ‘Ton keeper Samuel Ramsbottom stars in plucky FalkirKKK’s narrow 0-1 defeat to local behemoths East Stirlingshire at the FalkirKKK Council Stadium.

Sorry. I made the mistake of presuming that Morton had thought somethings through. Won't happen again!

It is nice to have a presenter that is clearly passionate and knowledgable about his club, though.

ok guy,s is bob mchugh at club.

I was quite enthusiastic about the prospect of a new site as I totally agree the site wasn't really fit for purpose - it never was, having hired their first communications employee after a site was designed (taking into account particular features would be pointless without having people to update). I think it also lacked in some other areas - it maybe needed some work to allow more advertising, some more prominence for match-day info and commercial activities, some enhancements to thrown-together sections like the fixtures page, and most importantly, a solution to stop info like season ticket information getting lost in the archives after a week. In terms of the tech it could've done with a bit of performance optimisation and certainly needed accessibility issues addressed. For all the previous site's faults (the 'one person on the site at a time' policy aside), I'd say for the most part it looked professional - it just needed some adjustments to be more of an effective tool for the club. The new site is indeed a build-your-own-website WordPress theme (https://elementor.com/) that's been dumped on to the old site - it might look a bit different, but it's pretty much the same thing. Maybe there's more to come and I'll get put in my place - which would be great - but I'm a little miffed on first impressions. Would be keen to know exactly what problems the new site is solving as it's been getting bigged up for a while as a bit of a game changer.

Cubicles humming a shite so go for a pie first 👍🏻

Kinda reminds me of Lionel Hutz' business card: "New Website? No, problems!" It looks rotten, the "shop" is particularly farcical having as it does two different versions of a strip to advertise a "crowdie" (whatever the fuck that is) without, as far as I can see, even containing a link anywhere on the entire site to where you can buy an actual strip. The less said about those t-shirts the better.

You'd think, like most normal businesses, there'd be regular meetings about a project such as this, ticking off deliverables/action trackers before launching something as significant as a website supposedly capable of streaming games and by all accounts all sing and dancing. Surely to fuck we've got someone with genuine experience in launching a website to make sure there's no glitches/typos/outdated information prior to launch (clearly not). Maybe they'll launch it, sit back and wait for a roasting on here or twitter before fixing things. Retrospectively as they always do! I'm just about done with how much of a clowncar outfit we are. Even missing football during this pandemic doesn't really inspire me to go stand at a freezing cold cappielow (when permitted) tbh. SAD!

He was giving it that patter in public all of last season as well. If the manager has frustrations then he should be taking it up in private with either the current regime that 'finances' the club as well as his mates who have unearthed the grand total of zero Championship-ready gems from the dog and duck leagues in England. Or indeed himself for building a squad that is already overloaded with attacking but not goalscoring sand-dancers and about 17 central midfielders as well. The fans who are currently contributing to MCT are doing so having not seen a single ball kicked over the past six months in the middle of an economic meltdown. To call them out to do more is foolish and bites the only hand that is feeding him right now.

Not quite on topic, but here's what Cappielow looks like in the new Flight Simulator game.

I get what is being said about the amateurish nature of the logos etc. However, as things stand at the moment, I'd rather have MCT contribute £10,000 to the first team budget than £9,500 and spend the other £500 on a snazzy logo. IMO these things can come at a later date.

any news on them. guys

That was a common myth started in the 13/14 season when people were desperately looking for reasons why our form would turn around rather than accepting that we were fucked as we fell further and further back. Those who didn't want to accept the reality of the situation saw they had no argument based on what was happening on the pitch, so resorted to something unquantifiable. 'McKee's the Tidser replacement in this team, he's the playmaker who's going to make it tick, he started the season well, when he's fit we'll be fine' was typical of the straw clutching on display. In reality that Falkirk game was only the second league game and fourth game of the season overall. The three games prior to his injury were a 1-0 defeat at League Two Annan, a 6-2 AET win at League One East Fife where he was subbed in normal time before our flurry of extra time goals and a 2-0 win at home to Cowdenbeath. There was nothing in there to suggest he was ever making a significant difference to that shitfest of a team. At Falkirk he went off injured after 38 minutes at 0-0 then we were 2-0 down at half-time so it was easy to say McKee went off then we collapsed but correlation =/= causation. It was just that defence doing what it was always going to do regardless of McKee being on the pitch. As the inadequacies of the likes of Cham, Hands, Peciar and Habai were quickly exposed everyone latched all their pre-season positivity onto McKee, who unlike the others wasn't having it exposed as nonsense through watching him every week. It happens at every club, but despite not being out for all that long in the grand scheme of things compared to someone like Stephen Stirling, McKee was biggest beneficiary we've ever had of a player getting better in the collective imagination of the support with every week he spent injured.

“One of the most talked about items in our recent Club history” Well, yes. But only because you finally mentioned it 3 weeks down the line rather than completely ignoring it like the anniversary of winning the 1995, 2003 and 2015 titles because you took on a Celtic fan who doesn’t have a clue about Morton’s achievements to run your communications before paying off the media guy and bringing in another Celtic fan.

I see CFB has chucked in his 'heartfelt' eulogy on Twitter, quoting Ewan's tweet. The very person who paved the way for his departure from the club by scabbing his role during the lockdown. Utterly shameless, narcissistic and vile behaviour from Callum. But we knew all of that already.

Players pulled and replaced by Andy Ritchie as the club suddenly realise there is a pandemic on, there are restrictions, and we have a friendly the next day. https://www.gmfc.net/club-statement-3rd-kit-launch-day/

Incredible

Has Jean blamed the fans yet?

Michael 'King Snake' Tidser is in the Tele today after appearing at Ayr Sheriff Court on the charge of deliberately driving his car at an Ayr United official down there after the 1-1 draw in April 2019. Tidser denies the charge and a potential trial is scheduled for October 6. Fingers crossed for a jury duty letter.

You're certainly full of pish. Perhaps it's best you don't attend fitba' matches in case you need to relieve yourself.

It’s also complete bollocks about how he was never one to play up to the fans. His strong showing in the “Biggest Arsehole To Have Played For Morton” competition would suggest that his desperation for our attention was one of the first things you would associate with him, and iirc he was also quick to put his tuppence worth in when that wanker Dean Matthew piped up about Reghan Tumilty. Dickhead.

It’s been on Curtis Sports’ website since March anyway. I wouldn’t know about what MacKinnon said though, I’ve chucked these interviews. Gerry McDade does my tits in so the less I have to listen to him the better.

Now for the full house when the strip that hits Smiths when it launches is different again.

I’d have thought they’d be better to release this kit around about November in time for a Christmas push given that we have an away kit anyway, and having already released the home shirt. But then again, I suppose the club have been consulting Saatchi and Saatchi about the marketing strategy and were advised that randomly throwing the top out to the public without even mentioning the significance of it and then releasing a computer generated image of a different version of it three weeks later was the way to go. I’d be surprised if whoever gave Gary Oliver that top even knew what it’s purpose was. It was probably found under a pile of programmes for the Dundee United game in March, in that wee room for the blind.

By the light, of the silvery moon We fucked those boys in the white and maroon

It's separate from the club ownership but I agree entirely; it is massively inappropriate for anyone at the club to be asking MCT for more money at the moment. Right now GC is in charge and if the resources are insufficient it's up to them to either make up the shortfall, or perhaps stop being so amateurish and maximize their revenue streams. Agreed. MCT will need to get on a sound footing before that could happen but I do wonder if that's not part of the long game here. As long as the ground is zoned the way it is, realistically nobody other than Morton is ever going to want it, so even fair market value is presumably not a massive sum. I mean, there are so many ways it could go wrong otherwise. I'm not suggesting any malice on GC's part, but they're going to have this asset from which they're making only a peppercorn rent but has a decent book value... they could get loans secured against it, there could then be a global shortage of sugar or those weird plastic jars that people who still get "quarters" get their Millions dispensed from, and it could be called in. Cats and dogs living together!

Pretty sure cardboard mutants don't impinge on the intellectual property of a fucking cheese.

I’ve said a few times he boils my piss, and boil my piss he does. Unfortunately, if you want to appoint someone to a role such as his, with the necessary experience, narrowing it down to just Morton fans is severely limiting your pool of options. He’s probably the most suited person for the job (given how poorly they treated Jonathan and he wouldn’t go back for a king’s ransom) but that doesn’t stop me disliking him. If a David Tanner or Alex Rae is talking, I immediately switch off, and the same applies to Gherry. I’m not calling for the guy to be emptied the way I was Callum, but I simply won’t be listening. The difference between Gherry and Callum is that in one case the club were looking for an experienced broadcaster to work on their media channels, whilst in the other, they were providing an opportunity to a young, ambitious broadcaster to get his name out there. You only have to look at the names on contributing to Dean’s new podcast to realise that there are enough young Morton fans, such as yourself, Ewan and Cammy who could’ve benefited from that opportunity. Of course, Callum’s behaviour in trying to snake a job didn’t help either, but in providing that opportunity to a Morton fan, rather than a Celtic fan, the club would’ve, in my eyes at least, been doing an excellent deed in helping their own, instead of allowing themselves to be used for the benefit of someone who wanted their name for his own gain.

That's me website, Desert Storm!

Minor repairs! Aye, that and killing!

I clicked yon big Morton Club Together banner on the site, got sent to this beauty: https://new.gmfc.net/sponsors I'm working on some sites right now that don't have a proper staging environment, so I know how hard a smooth transfer can be. All this stuff looks easy on the surface but it can be surprisingly challenging. But that's exactly why, as ToM says, you have a staged migration, with concrete deliverables, little checkpoints, go/no-go dates to ensure the disruption visible to the public is kept to a bare minimum. What you don't do is... in the build-up to your active season, when your core products (in our case, season tickets, match streaming, replica kits) are at their most sought-after and need to be pushed the hardest, when all eyes are on you ahead of the launch of your next big campaign (in our case, the competitive football season), when you've promised a new website... is half-assedly throw something online for hours, if not days at a time, full of incorrect information, placeholders, inconsistent information, with anything useful and more importantly profitable either hidden, outdated, or completely memory-holed. As I say, I know these things aren't necessarily easy. I know there are limitations that mean they might have to operate on the patient while he's awake, to use everyone's favorite migration metaphor. But that's exactly why you go in with a plan. If you don't want to have your customer-facing site looking like a dog's dinner, you need to be able to strip it down and rebuild it like an infantryman his rifle. If on the other hand you're poor wee Morton and you just don't really care if people buy match tickets, you put this online: https://www.gmfc.net/tickets-membership/ Which links to this: https://www.gmfctickets.co.uk/ And in case anyone wants to console themselves at being unable to buy tickets by instead getting a replica kit, they can follow the link to this: https://gmfc.net/shop/ And get themselves a fucking Crowdie.

“They've rebadged it, you fool!”

We should buy all the ad slots and have a slightly different home kit on each one.

same old pish fromthe ton, no season ticket from me.im out/what about davie mckinnon the laugh ing guy.gmfc.net. wer,e still waiting.and bloddy crawford. he a clever guy owns cappielow. and the car park. pardon mel l still support from the house? slag me if you want.

League Two*. The only way Raymond knows how to take a team into League One is through the arse end of the Championship.

"a clean sheet is worth just over two goals scored in terms of points across the course of a season" The Numbers Game If we go into the season with our central defender options as McGinty, McLean and McAlister as back up then we deserve everything we'll get.

Dundee are some laugh- a week that they’ve just paid off 16 academy coaches and in comes a former Scotland international, who won’t be coming back home for £200 a week. Admin 3.0 is long overdue now, hopefully this pushes it along a wee bit.

Coming up next on 'Brass Neck TV', Kate and Gerry McCann follow up irnbru's guide to successfully running a fans' organisation with their top ten parenting tips.

Boston, Lincolnshire, population 35,124. To put it in perspective, that’s 11 times the population of Hemsby!

Worth remembering that when we let the wee rat go to Ostersund we did have a sell-on fee, which got us a pretty penny. Around 150k GBP, if memory serves. Maybe our one good piece of transfer business in the last, what, 20 years? But you wouldn't get a secondary sell-on fee. That sell-on that OFK were bound to pay us is now history. Any sell-on agreement will now be between OFK and Malmo.

His patter is fuckin brutal. Went to hospitality for the Partick game in December and was subjected to his insufferable drivel non-stop, I’ll never go near it again for as long as he’s involved.

The drawback to this fantastic new system of course will be that the poor sods will have to listen to a good couple of hours or so of Gherry McDhade’s patter, so it’s not all good.

Will they still be able to get the 3.30 at Kempton on the old 26" Telefunken in the corner?

It was going so well til the 'n'

You’d be surprised. He’s earning more than you think TRVMP. He’s head of modern languages!

Craig Levein is a joke but Tom English is a slabbering mess who has been greeting for Thistle and Hearts every week. Very pleasing.

Alan Partridge Ton made corporate training videos for Allied Dunbar. Perhaps the two of them could work together?