The General Nonsense Thread

[Cet Homme Charmant]

DOT, I don't know the best way to tell you this, so I'm just going to come right out with it. Nobody cares. 

Anyway, tell us about the time you nutmegged Johan Cruyff at the age of 40 straight after the nightshift.

[TAFKAC]

5 hours ago, Cet Homme Charmant said:

DOT, I don't know the best way to tell you this, so I'm just going to come right out with it. Nobody cares. 

Anyway, tell us about the time you nutmegged Johan Cruyff at the age of 40 straight after the nightshift.

Can I tell my Jonny Rep story?  It is true, and he's a lovely bloke.

And when is someone going to let DOT in on the secret of who the hustler is?

[capitanus]

4 hours ago, TAFKAC said:

Can I tell my Jonny Rep story?  It is true, and he's a lovely bloke.

And when is someone going to let DOT in on the secret of who the hustler is?

Yes, go on mate.

[Toby]

On 1/24/2024 at 9:24 AM, DreamOakTree said:

No, my point was that other posters were voicing similar concerns as myself regarding academy players. The posts I've copied specifically show exactly that, as I've missed out the generalistic posts you're talking about for that very reason. If you believe in smoke without fire then:

a) Why did SassenachTon start a new thread entirely devoted to that subject?

b) Why did Dougie recently refer to "THE FEW" who questioned his policy on academy players? Other posters have said he reads this forum (which I first refuted), so what posts would he be referring to if not those above?

Those posts had a similar tone to mine at the time, i.e. an open question on whether academy players were getting a bit of a raw deal, with a caveat that we trusted Dougie to get everything else right. Here's an example below which may be even more tame than the other posters.

DreamOakTree: Posted September 21, 2022

"I thought Strapp was our most influential player by far. I was one of many who was worried we’d lose him and was delighted when he signed on again. Imrie has my backing but this looks a strange decision."

 

I first changed the narrative with the post below, where I directly questioned Dougie's attitude. It was at this point I started getting kickback from other posters. This grew to the point when I lost the plot with my outrageous personal rant towards Dougie.

 

DreamOakTree: Posted April 15, 2023

I find it a bit stomach churning that Dougie would tell our possibly best player that he’s got no future at Morton, while he’s trying to recover from a long term injury. Imrie has a very good ratio in improving players who were unpopular with the fans, plus his new signings. I wonder if he has something against popular home grown players such as Strapp, McGrattan, McGregor, Lyon etc. If so I’m not sure why this would be the case. 

It was relatively recently that Dougie started to rectify his attitude towards our academy players. You were citing evidence from within that recent time frame of a couple of months compared to the references I’ve made starting well over a year ago. I don’t know what it would take to make you admit your recollection of that time frame which shows that Dougie has completely turned around his approach to our Academy Graduates.

 

 

 

 

21 hours ago, DreamOakTree said:

To complete my response to Toby:

thehustler: Posted September 16, 2023 (edited)

Very poor decision. Release young, talented player and sign a perennially injured player from a lower league club. Some might think Imrie is deliberately ruining our season....see signing of a useless, finished centre back.

SpoonTon: Posted October 2, 2023

I think the point is that there are those who think Imrie has been wrong about players like Strapp, McGregor, Lyon, etc and think he's not gone about things in the right way. He can support McGregor, dislike Imrie, and still like Morton. 

Alibi: Posted October 2, 2023

 

"If Lewis is bitter about Imrie, it doesn't mean he's suddenly going to hate the club that he has played with, developed as a player, and given great service too, for several years.  Still think Imrie was wrong to let him go and it does seem he may have some issue with our youth academy players generally."

Dougie Imrie: Greenock Telegraph December 2, 2023

“I’ve always been a believer if you’re good enough you’re old enough. I’m not scared or frightened to play the kids.” 

thehustler: Posted December 4, 2023

"I figure DreamOakTree has some validity in his opinions"

Alibi: Posted December 4, 2023 (edited)

I think there was a widespread perception that Imrie was preferring more experienced players over some of those who had come through our youth system - Mcgrattan being the most obvious example, but also to an extent King, Lyon, McGarrity etc, and others, even including Strapp.  However recently there does seem to have been a bit of a sea change, and I think that's maybe a tacit admission by Imrie that we have been held back by at least a couple of our regular starters and that he has been perhaps too cautious in his team selections. 

I don't know Dream Oak Tree and have no wish to be drawn into an argument with those who don't seem to have any time for him, but I think he's maybe just been a bit slow to realise that our management team might be taking on board some of the valid criticisms that have been made about the younger members of our squad being ignored or not used to their full potential.  

 

I saw this on Wednesday night, but having spent an hour or so writing a match preview for Saturday, for the first time in my life I couldn’t handle the thought of talking about Morton any longer, especially with you.

I might get back to this at some point, and might not- dare say that if I do, I’ll argue that you’re talking shite and we’ll bat it back and forward.

You’ve bored me into submission for the time being.

[DreamOakTree]

2 hours ago, Toby said:

 

I saw this on Wednesday night, but having spent an hour or so writing a match preview for Saturday, for the first time in my life I couldn’t handle the thought of talking about Morton any longer, especially with you.

I might get back to this at some point, and might not- dare say that if I do, I’ll argue that you’re talking shite and we’ll bat it back and forward.

You’ve bored me into submission for the time being.

Well I did do gave you the courtesy of spending the time finding examples of the previous consensus I was referring to. I wasn't expecting you to all of a sudden start agreeing with me, and that's fair enough. Anyway that's my search complete so make of it what you will. 

[SassenachTon]

@Toby and a damn fine preview it was, too. Fair-minded and a great read.

[Cet Homme Charmant]

58 minutes ago, SassenachTon said:

@Toby and a damn fine preview it was, too. Fair-minded and a great read.

Toby's match previews are always a good read, notwithstanding the fact he did get Patrick's name wrong in this one.

[SassenachTon]

1 hour ago, Cet Homme Charmant said:

Toby's match previews are always a good read, notwithstanding the fact he did get Patrick's name wrong in this one.

We're all human. I'll allow it. Just this once.

[DreamOakTree]

On 1/25/2024 at 2:13 PM, Cet Homme Charmant said:

DOT, I don't know the best way to tell you this, so I'm just going to come right out with it. Nobody cares. 

Anyway, tell us about the time you nutmegged Johan Cruyff at the age of 40 straight after the nightshift.

Well I suppose as this is a general nonsense thread, and I'm being ridiculed for being ridiculous, then I might as well give you the even more ridiculous truth about what happened the night Den Haag asked me to trial with them. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb as they say.

I'd always played up the right side of the pitch, mostly as a right back, but occasionally right mid or right wing. That night at Den Haag I started on the bench, but our centre forward was taken off injured after about 20 minutes. Our coach came over and asked if anyone could play centre forward and I put my hand up. I'd been watching the good service to the centre forward and thought I could do a half decent job, despite being only 5ft 6 and the Dutch as far as I know are the tallest people in Europe. I went on and the highest ball I received all game was about chest height. I played out of my skin, scored a 20 yarder, hit the bar from 30 yards and kept holding the ball up till my team mates got up the pitch.

I'd never possessed a lot of skill so relied mostly on speed, strength and energy, so skill wise I must've played the game of my life that night. When our coach said after the game that the manager wanted to speak to me, I said "manager of who?", when he said "Den Haag" I couldn't believe it. Sure enough though it was the Den Haag Manager, who turned out to be Co Adriansse.

I know my age at the time has been mentioned but my last game of football was in 2018, at 63 years old, which was the first time I ever got injured on a football pitch, a sprained ligament on an astroturf pitch. I took ages to recover and have never played since. I still go to the gym 3 times a week though so I am still pretty fit, which perhaps explains why I was so fit at 37.

[Cappiecat 1.2]

[capitanus]

23 hours ago, DreamOakTree said:

Well I suppose as this is a general nonsense thread, and I'm being ridiculed for being ridiculous, then I might as well give you the even more ridiculous truth about what happened the night Den Haag asked me to trial with them. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb as they say.

I'd always played up the right side of the pitch, mostly as a right back, but occasionally right mid or right wing. That night at Den Haag I started on the bench, but our centre forward was taken off injured after about 20 minutes. Our coach came over and asked if anyone could play centre forward and I put my hand up. I'd been watching the good service to the centre forward and thought I could do a half decent job, despite being only 5ft 6 and the Dutch as far as I know are the tallest people in Europe. I went on and the highest ball I received all game was about chest height. I played out of my skin, scored a 20 yarder, hit the bar from 30 yards and kept holding the ball up till my team mates got up the pitch.

I'd never possessed a lot of skill so relied mostly on speed, strength and energy, so skill wise I must've played the game of my life that night. When our coach said after the game that the manager wanted to speak to me, I said "manager of who?", when he said "Den Haag" I couldn't believe it. Sure enough though it was the Den Haag Manager, who turned out to be Co Adriansse.

I know my age at the time has been mentioned but my last game of football was in 2018, at 63 years old, which was the first time I ever got injured on a football pitch, a sprained ligament on an astroturf pitch. I took ages to recover and have never played since. I still go to the gym 3 times a week though so I am still pretty fit, which perhaps explains why I was so fit at 37.

Madonna was well fit right into her 50's.  Even nowadays she's looking good for her age.  Davina McCall is another one.

Anyway, I played for Maidstone United today and pumped Ipswich in the FA Cup.  I had the chance to go out celebrating but instead said no and opted for an Easyjet back to my humdrum life.

Tune in for more fantasist capers next week. 

 

 

[Cet Homme Charmant]

On 1/27/2024 at 1:27 AM, DreamOakTree said:

Well I suppose as this is a general nonsense thread, and I'm being ridiculed for being ridiculous, then I might as well give you the even more ridiculous truth about what happened the night Den Haag asked me to trial with them. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb as they say.

I'd always played up the right side of the pitch, mostly as a right back, but occasionally right mid or right wing. That night at Den Haag I started on the bench, but our centre forward was taken off injured after about 20 minutes. Our coach came over and asked if anyone could play centre forward and I put my hand up. I'd been watching the good service to the centre forward and thought I could do a half decent job, despite being only 5ft 6 and the Dutch as far as I know are the tallest people in Europe. I went on and the highest ball I received all game was about chest height. I played out of my skin, scored a 20 yarder, hit the bar from 30 yards and kept holding the ball up till my team mates got up the pitch.

I'd never possessed a lot of skill so relied mostly on speed, strength and energy, so skill wise I must've played the game of my life that night. When our coach said after the game that the manager wanted to speak to me, I said "manager of who?", when he said "Den Haag" I couldn't believe it. Sure enough though it was the Den Haag Manager, who turned out to be Co Adriansse.

I know my age at the time has been mentioned but my last game of football was in 2018, at 63 years old, which was the first time I ever got injured on a football pitch, a sprained ligament on an astroturf pitch. I took ages to recover and have never played since. I still go to the gym 3 times a week though so I am still pretty fit, which perhaps explains why I was so fit at 37.

Tell me DOT, did you lack attention as a child?  

[DreamOakTree]

7 hours ago, Cet Homme Charmant said:

Tell me DOT, did you lack attention as a child?  

The answer to that is yes, 100%. My survival instinct told me to always give 100% to everything I did from then on. Unfortunately that’s exactly what I didn’t do at Den Haag. I got frustrated at the 1 and 2 touch 7 a side games and asked why we weren’t doing anything else, like a full eleven a side game where I could show what I had and be judged on that. I later told my close friend since teenage years, John McMaster, and he told me it took him 7 years to get into Aberdeen’s first team. He said they were just testing me to see if I would stick with it without complaining, therefore I failed badly in terms of commitment, probably for the first time in my life. I greatly regret that I didn’t persevere, so instead of the Roy of the Rovers poster, it should be a violin!

[Cet Homme Charmant]

Yeah, I'm absolutely sure they created a whole new training system just to test the commitment of a 37 year old works player. I'm sure if you had stuck at it you would have broken into the first team in your mid-40s. 

You don't half talk a lot of shite. 

[TAFKAC]

3 hours ago, DreamOakTree said:

The answer to that is yes, 100%. My survival instinct told me to always give 100% to everything I did from then on. Unfortunately that’s exactly what I didn’t do at Den Haag. I got frustrated at the 1 and 2 touch 7 a side games and asked why we weren’t doing anything else, like a full eleven a side game where I could show what I had and be judged on that. I later told my close friend since teenage years, John McMaster, and he told me it took him 7 years to get into Aberdeen’s first team. He said they were just testing me to see if I would stick with it without complaining, therefore I failed badly in terms of commitment, probably for the first time in my life. I greatly regret that I didn’t persevere, so instead of the Roy of the Rovers poster, it should be a violin!

McMaster signed for Aberdeen in 1972 at the age of 17, and was loaned out for a full season to Peterhead in the Highland League.  He broke into the Aberdeen first team in the 74/75 season and then played 21 games in the 75/76 season, when he was 20.  

You should read his biography, McMaster and Commander.  An interesting read, co-authored by my old man's cousin.  

If a kid can't play one touch football in a controlled environment, then they're not getting beyond park football.

[DreamOakTree]

18 hours ago, TAFKAC said:

McMaster signed for Aberdeen in 1972 at the age of 17, and was loaned out for a full season to Peterhead in the Highland League.  He broke into the Aberdeen first team in the 74/75 season and then played 21 games in the 75/76 season, when he was 20.  

You should read his biography, McMaster and Commander.  An interesting read, co-authored by my old man's cousin.  

If a kid can't play one touch football in a controlled environment, then they're not getting beyond park football.

I have a signed copy from Johnny, with "to a fellow spammer" on it. Yes it was a good read. I was playing football wity him the day he signed for Aberdeen. His timber house overlooked the Gibshill football pitch, and they sent a message down for him to come up to the house as Bobby Calder was waiting to speak to him. Johnny came back down with his copy of the signing on form, absolutely chuffed to bits as you would imagine. 

And Johnny's point was they tested all players in that way, not that they set up training for one trialist as someone suggested.

[TAFKAC]

4 hours ago, DreamOakTree said:

I have a signed copy from Johnny, with "to a fellow spammer" on it. Yes it was a good read. I was playing football wity him the day he signed for Aberdeen. His timber house overlooked the Gibshill football pitch, and they sent a message down for him to come up to the house as Bobby Calder was waiting to speak to him. Johnny came back down with his copy of the signing on form, absolutely chuffed to bits as you would imagine. 

And Johnny's point was they tested all players in that way, not that they set up training for one trialist as someone suggested.

You said "I later told my close friend since teenage years, John McMaster, and he told me it took him 7 years to get into Aberdeen’s first team." 

According to McMaster's book and Wikipedia "McMaster signed for Aberdeen in 1972 at the age of 17, and was loaned out for a full season to Peterhead in the Highland League.  He broke into the Aberdeen first team in the 74/75 season and then played 21 games in the 75/76 season, when he was 20." 

Who are we to believe?

[TAFKAC]

On 1/25/2024 at 11:25 PM, capitanus said:

Yes, go on mate.

I was joking, but never mind.  Here goes.

A bit of background.  Those that have been around since the Topica days will know that I worked in the Philippines in the late 90s and played in the Philippine National League for two seasons - it was a mix of quality, with a few better players possibly Lowland League level.  I was in the lower end quality wise, but was a reasonable finisher.  The club I played for had the best playing facilities in the country, as it was part of a sports club complex.  My colleague from the Dutch Embassy organised a tour by the Ajax/Feyernoord old boys to the Philippines.  I got a place on the League select team bench for the match and got on for 10 minutes at the end.

Rep played up front for them and was astonishing.  He barely moved, everything stuck, every pass hit his target and he scored 3.  I went up to him at the end of the match and in a proper creepy fanboy told him that he'd made me cry as an 8 year old.  His quality response was, in a classic comedy Dutch accent "Yesh, I meet many Shcottish people.  They all tell me that.  Let me buy you a beer."  

He got a case in and told us all about the plan in 1978 and what they could cope with.  They always felt that they could score if they needed to, and that they thought Rough was the weak link.  But the Gemmell goal spooked them, hence his long shot.  He was a top man.

[TRVMP]

"Astonishing" really is the word when you see actual top-level pros having a kickabout. I don't mean marginal guys but the absolute top-level internationals, they can be pushing 50 and unfit but you can tell immediately they aren't like mortal men. No doubt they worked hard to have the career they did but it would also be deeply obvious that they just "had it" and if they applied themselves they'd go on to great things.

[HamCam]

28 minutes ago, TRVMP said:

"Astonishing" really is the word when you see actual top-level pros having a kickabout. I don't mean marginal guys but the absolute top-level internationals, they can be pushing 50 and unfit but you can tell immediately they aren't like mortal men. No doubt they worked hard to have the career they did but it would also be deeply obvious that they just "had it" and if they applied themselves they'd go on to great things.

My own experience is they do not have to be top-level pros. Retired players from the seaside leagues still stand out a mile. They might not all run around as much as before but generally their touch and game awareness sets them apart from the DOT's of this world.