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Looks like Streetwise Jim will be positioning his wife, weans and probably some local street urchins as well in Peterhead's car park to try and protect his non-existent honour.

This was a specific release in March (at the bargain price of £210 or something), which their board linked to the need to meet outstanding expenses before the end of this season. This was in the aftermath of their glamour derby against East Fife first being moved to a Sunday for BBC Alba coverage and then cancelled due to snow, which cost them gate and hospitality money they'd been counting on. Which means that the ST money from Raith's early bird scheme isn't going into pot for next season - unlike all other early bird drives - and they've spectacularly bottled the opportunity for Championship gates and prize money to cover their shortfall as well. They're fucked and not before time.

The season tickets were being sold early to cover their bills for the rest of this season; they were probably counting on Championship football to cover next season's spending instead. So now they're fucked. Terrible, wee shame that.

Atletico Madrid are the best organised team in football right now by some distance; they're excellent defensively and always move the ball with purpose in the final third. Difficult to see a big club (i.e. those still much richer than Atletico) that wouldn't be better off with Simeone as manager. Diego Costa was in top form as well this evening and ragdolled the entire Arsenal backline throughout the match, Two good cunts.

Still, I'm sure that Jim's peerless track record when it comes to high pressure play-off matches will stand Peterhead in good stead.

I'm certain that Forest Green are more than happy with the return that they've got, what with Sir Gavin single-handedly retaining their league status for the first time in the club's history. Idiot found.

Sir Gavin Gunning proves instrumental in another clean sheet for Forest Green at local bumpkin rivals Yeovil this evening - a draw that keeps them comfortably in the division with two games to play having been bottom of the table, shipping goals for fun and looking utterly doomed prior to his arrival. Looks like yet another healthy cash bonus will be on the cards for the bane of Ed the racist fantasist's existence. That's a terrible, wee shame for him.

He's a sand dancer who has found his level: bottling the seaside league in hilarious fashion with Scotland's oldest and worst franchise outfit.

Brian Wake makes an immediate impact in his new management role at IFK Luleå in Sweden, ending a stinking run of two wins in seventeen matches under their previous manager with an effortless 3-0 swording of Friska Viljor in their league opener at the weekend. While his former charges Ytterhogdals lose 1-0 in the same division after an 'Unbeatables' league campaign last season under Wake. The man is a prodigy in everything that he puts his mind to. Bring Him home.

In other news involving junior-grade dross from deepest, darkest Ayrshire, I see that Allan Jenkins netted the equaliser in Hurlford's 2-1 comeback victory over Bo'ness in the Junior Cup quarter final. The winner was scored by Mark Roberts - yes that Mark Roberts - who is still managing to get a game in the top flight of the Junior game at 42 years of age. Kill that pointless bumpkin setup with fire.

It's worth noting that an absolute rabble like Ayr United have racked up 83 league goals in total this season. Albion Rovers are second bottom and yet have still scored 55 league goals: mostly through gubbins Morton reject/Salty's wet dream Alan Trouten. That pub league division is a window into how 'football' was played back in the 1930s, with 7-6 scorelines and obese keepers who can't actually reach the corners of the goal. Any club emerging from it that doesn't change most of their starting eleven will be 'doing a Brechin' at this level next season.

Michael 'the Moff' Moffat was a hotshot top scorer in League One; it's an absolutely pathetic standard of football. We're missing out on absolutely nothing with that carthorse.

Hopefully he can make a special trip back to taunt Dundee fans again in their inevitable play-off swording at Cappielow.

He appears to be touching the gun/holster in the first minute of the video. Meanwhile, in France: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2018/mar/12/lille-fans-attack-players-relegation-ligue-1 Leaving the Helen Lovejoy-esque report to one side, this can be safely filed among the many examples of why 'the Cappielow boo boys' don't actually represent the most demanding or negative fanbase in world football, as shrill happy-clappers would have us all believe.

Cafe Continental's supposed rooftop second tier expansion could become a serious contender for that title. Definitely not a bin - but more a pub than anything else IMO - with a distinctly checkered report book. Good - A well-kept and therefore glorious pint of Krusovice, from the country that invented and still owns all lager. Bad (Sad!) - High probability of absolute dickheads like Zhivago swanning around the bar to try and extract false and slanderous gossip from bit-part Morton flunkies to use against legends like Sir Gavin Gunning*. * An afficionado of the Wherry Tavern IMO.

It's actually 'promotion play off form' since Sir Gavin arrived; and an 'abject relegation slump' for the team that he left. Note Sir Gavin's previous English employers stinking the division out as well. https://www.twtd.co.uk/league-tables/competition:league-two/daterange/fromdate:2018-Jan-01/todate:2018-Jun-01/type:home-and-away/

Fun facts update: less than two months after this post, Sir Gavin Gunning's Forest Green Rovers are storming clear of a previously inevitable relegation - due to no longer shipping goals every week - while His former side Port Vale have failed to win a single game in 2018, have slid beneath Forest Green in the table and are now prime candidates for relegation to the non-leagues. If only there was a transfer deal between the two clubs in January that could explain this stunning reversal of fortunes. But Ed de Fantasist obviously didn't see that outcome coming - despite being the real brains behind Rinus Michels' Total Football revolution in the 1970s. Sad!

Looks like an earlier start on the cream sherry than usual for Eric the fantasist loser. Sad!

I'm not responsible for nearly one-third of The Clique's global output: swing and a miss. But speaking of red dots - and seeing as you're not at all ruffled by them - have another one for your own burgeoning collection DH.

Eric the Fantasist -7023 Bad!

That'll be why since rejoining the club last summer, Queen of the South's marquee signing (by kit size at least) has pushed them into the play-offs and played a key role in terrific cup runs. Much like his career as a whole, his gormless cameo at this level is notable only for a lack of credible success or achievements.

We also got rid of him because he was entirely mediocre playing up front for us in the middle of the First Division, and we actually had under Allan Moore a genuine intention of competing for the title. Which is why in the summer of 2011 we upgraded and got Peter MacDonald on a free transfer to replace him - one of the club's rare, excellent dealings in the transfer market since Hal fucking Stewart left. Tl;Dr version: the 'we missed Lyle' wailing right now is the worst and lowest form of revisionism, completely unsupported by fact-based analysis.

And yet he still wouldn't actually get on our bench, were everyone fit. Which is part of the reason why Duffy isn't remotely interested in signing this geriatric hotshot. Queen of the South are a far more open team than ourselves: their forwards therefore have an easier job scoring, while they also readily ship goals at the other end. Which is why The Famous were streets ahead of them last season with Ross Forbes as our top scorer, while the puffing failure Stephen Dobbie was banging them in for that rabble.

Lyle is nearly 37, is finished, and looked as good as finished after his stint at The Famous. Reality has finally caught up with his bizarre coda to a career that should have plunged into the seaside leagues five years ago. If Lyle and Russell can keep Falkirk nailed in their play-off box then that's great. I'm very sceptical about that outcome though. Dumbarton would have been better off trying to sign Darryl Duffy instead IMO.

Going by the first half today Duffy reckons only one central midfielder in a midfield three is required; can't see it working out for him then tbh.