Alan_Partridge_Ton

She’s got a lovely smile! Looks like it’s been made from soiled bandages!

Don’t laugh, you’ve broken your neck! Wonder whatever became of Gordon and Ernie? Their website is a dead duck!

China Crisis!

No, but I did remember to take a plentiful supply of a certain prism based chocolate bar!

I like the new form look. It’s the same as Rangers Media, where I also have an account.

God I’ve missed you!

I thought you supported Linwood FC?

Lord Volvic as I live and breathe! Have you Etta Crouton lately?

Around the world with Alan Partridge... in a Bullnose... on the left!

Knowing me Alan Partridge!

The question is could I make the journey between Ibrox and Cappielow on the same day? I’m a bit of a maverick, I’m not afraid to break the law if I think it's necessary. I’m not a criminal, you know, but I will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, I want get to Sinclair Street for 3pm! Unlike Charles however, I don’t have an orange fedora!

I think I’ll get a season ticket for Cappielow and Ibrox next season!

Well done to the Glasgow Celtics. I prefer The Rangers but no sour grapes from me!

Who is Gordon Todd?

I spent two bloody hours the other night trying to get Deliveroo downloaded to my Motorola TimePort. Kept getting an error message. Had mince and onions instead! Lynn made it.