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The KKK Bin Pub Review #28 After two years of sanitised drivel that ruined the great bin pub industry of Scotland, its time to get back on the horse and finish the only reputable guide to Greenocks pub scene. We are down to the remaining handful of establishments, before the prestigious KK Kelbie krown is handed out to a worthy winner. And where better a place to pick up where we left off than with a famous contender. Serving the residents of Braeside ever since some daft cunt at the council had the idea to build a scheme to nowhere on the side of a hill, the Burns Lounge has evaded previous KKK reviews by refusing to open at a reasonable hour. No more. The interior plays up to its tribute to the longest lived man to come from Ayrshire, with the added luxury of a ceiling (see KKK Review #27 - The Norseman). Good - The Burns Lounge has a fine selection of spirits. A big boy measure of your finest OVD cooking rum will set you back £1.90. Not outstanding in its category but a bit cheaper than city centre prices. - The Burns offers a carryout service for anyone unfortunate enough to be trapped in Braeside after dark - though its a bring your own shotgun policy. - The toilets provide some worthwhile period features. The cubicle has a bucket to contain the water that has clearly caved the hole in the ceiling above, but that bucket has since been used like those bogging shite paper buckets that you get in Third World countries like Greece. Sadly the Burns' lounge did not get a bonus point for having a shite festering in the bucket, as has been the case with The Norseman. Bad - The selection of pints on offer is basic even by bin pub standards - Tennents, Strongbow and John Smiths. This would not cost the Burns Lounge if the prices matched the offering. Instead, they are charging £3.40 a pint, in fucking Braeside. - Ambience: As likely explained by the pricing policy for pints, the place is as dead as Rangers on a weekend afternoon. A selection of STV banger programmes are all that are put on offer, with no pool table or any other way of distracting you from the Burns' Lounge experience. - Despite being the classic bin pub located in the middle of nowhere, the Burns Lounge did not have the correct range of tonic wines on visible display. Verdict - 1 K/3 A disappointing performance from a front runner on paper. Despite boasting the ideal location for bin pub greatness, The Burns Lounge fails to deliver on most fronts. It is an acceptable place to get in and out for a quick one, but otherwise does nothing to recommend itself. Failing to get the Burns Lounge right is why Ciano Rebecchis party lost all their seats in the council election.