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The KKK Bin Pub Review Thread


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#41 capitanus

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Posted 11 March 2018 - 01:27 AM

Unfortunately they turned me away at the door, private function. It turns out Ed was in takeover discussions with Ralph for the premises but went for the Empire State Building instead.


I'm surprised you got that close to it, especially with his motorcade parked out front. Still, Nile Rodgers got a knock back from Studio 52, and made millions as a result.
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...and no Regime can buy or sell me.

#42 TRVMP

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Posted 11 March 2018 - 02:31 AM

One of the very few disco tracks to have aged well, kudos to Ed for being their A&R man.


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Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#43 irnbru

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Posted 11 March 2018 - 02:38 AM

We can go to white hats new Liquor Lounge.


That may be the case but white hats have a place that looks like hell. A gin bar.
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#44 irnbru

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Posted 11 March 2018 - 02:41 AM

Argyll


They'll need them to protect the place.
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#45 Ghost

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 05:26 PM

It's certainly changed since the 2 lads took over the place
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#46 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 12 March 2018 - 09:45 PM

That may be the case but white hats have a place that looks like hell. A gin bar.

 

Opening a gin bar in Greenock should receive a similar reception as when you scream '2-1' at Jamie Carragher from your car. 


Edited by BishopLenBrennan, 12 March 2018 - 09:46 PM.

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You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! 


#47 TONofmemories

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 04:19 PM

The Willow > all else.

 

Fantastic boozer. 

 

I also have to stick up for cheers somewhat; they've happily had Morton fans in there prior to Scum game at home and post-match vs Celtic. Put on a Dj free of charge and let out the top floor to Morton fans to make as much noise as they wanted. Similarly, when the was finished, the downstairs area was invaded and many Morton song was had. Not many other pubs in town would tolerate such behaviour, perhaps the lighthouse aside. That said, when the moany karaoke woman comes on shift pretty much all Morton songs are out the window/ 


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TIME FOR CHANGE!


#48 Toby

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Posted 13 March 2018 - 05:21 PM

The Willow > all else.

Fantastic boozer.

I also have to stick up for cheers somewhat; they've happily had Morton fans in there prior to Scum game at home and post-match vs Celtic. Put on a Dj free of charge and let out the top floor to Morton fans to make as much noise as they wanted. Similarly, when the was finished, the downstairs area was invaded and many Morton song was had. Not many other pubs in town would tolerate such behaviour, perhaps the lighthouse aside. That said, when the moany karaoke woman comes on shift pretty much all Morton songs are out the window/


The Lighthouse can be very difficult when a Morton sing song gets going because of the flats above, in spite of allowing the karaoke to go on for hours on end.

I quite like it, but that’s a black mark against them.
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Show Grasses The Red Dot.


#49 dunning1874

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 07:39 PM

I've never attended the bar in the Cloch Caravan Park myself, but I was talking to someone who was staying there and they were raving about how cheap it is.
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Brian Wake my Lord, Brian Wake

Brian Wake my Lord, Brian Wake

Brian Wake my Lord, Brian Wake

Oh Lord, Brian Wake


#50 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 08:49 PM

A leisurely stroll along the Riviera for a few pints in the Cloch Caravan Park sounds like a delightful way to spend a spring/summer evening. 


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You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! 


#51 Stevie Aitken's Love Child

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 07:41 PM

The Willow > all else.

 

Fantastic boozer. 

 

I also have to stick up for cheers somewhat; they've happily had Morton fans in there prior to Scum game at home and post-match vs Celtic. Put on a Dj free of charge and let out the top floor to Morton fans to make as much noise as they wanted. Similarly, when the was finished, the downstairs area was invaded and many Morton song was had. Not many other pubs in town would tolerate such behaviour, perhaps the lighthouse aside. That said, when the moany karaoke woman comes on shift pretty much all Morton songs are out the window/ 

 

Cheers does a perfectly passable pint of Tennent's for just £2 (two pounds), but you do need to wade through a river of pish to use the toilet.


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#52 K K Kelbie

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 08:01 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #1 - The Willow Bar

 

Good: Big boy measures as opposed to 25ml shite. Wide range of lagers, beers and ciders on pint at around £3, which is reasonable enough nowadays. Selection of whiskies guarantees that the place will be full of pished old jakies at any time of day adding to the atmosphere. Has framed Morton tops rather than OF shite, 

 

Bonus point for the men's bog being locked with the key available 'upon request at the bar', making your 'four pints of cider toaley' a matter of public debate for the regulars. 

 

Shite: A half-arsed attempt at a cocktail option although at least the menu isn't provided. But cocktails aren't worthy of mention in a proper bin pub so that's a black mark anyway. They should have spent their time making a tonic wine list instead, of which there was none spotted on the premises.  

 

Verdict: 2.5 Ks/3.


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#53 K K Kelbie

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 08:02 PM

The Willow > all else.

 

You're wrong and this thread is going to tell you why you're wrong. 


Edited by K K Kelbie, 15 March 2018 - 08:02 PM.

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#54 K K Kelbie

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 04:48 PM

The KKK BIn Pub Review #2 - The Star Hotel

 

Good: Big boy measures served at 'dirty wee Port cheap' prices. Standard lagers, cider and Guiness on tap only, with a bonus selection of bottles that were probably made when Third Lanark and Rangers were still kicking about. 'Whitbreads beer' anyone? Wine list covers Buckfast but not a Pinot Grigio. Jakey clientele and passive aggressive notices add a refreshing air of menace to the place. 

 

Bad: No carryouts allowed despite being next to a train station, which defeats the point of its location. 

 

Despicable: Celtic memorabilia can be found in the bar (the left hand bin); the lounge on the right is a neutral zone but still crawling with sympathisers because this is Port Glasgow. 

 

giphy.gif

 

Verdict

 

Lounge: 2Ks/3 - a sound pit stop opportunity when using Greenock's free mass transit system. 

Bar: -3Ks/3 - a vile Celtic-minded hovel. 

 

No pressure on taking the correct turn then. 


Edited by K K Kelbie, 29 March 2018 - 04:48 PM.

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#55 Cartoon Head

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 10:25 PM

The KKK BIn Pub Review #2 - The Star Hotel
 
Good: Big boy measures served at 'dirty wee Port cheap' prices. Standard lagers, cider and Guiness on tap only, with a bonus selection of bottles that were probably made when Third Lanark and Rangers were still kicking about. 'Whitbreads beer' anyone? Wine list covers Buckfast but not a Pinot Grigio. Jakey clientele and passive aggressive notices add a refreshing air of menace to the place. 
 
Bad: No carryouts allowed despite being next to a train station, which defeats the point of its location. 
 
Despicable: Celtic memorabilia can be found in the bar (the left hand bin); the lounge on the right is a neutral zone but still crawling with sympathisers because this is Port Glasgow. 
 
giphy.gif
 
Verdict
 
Lounge: 2Ks/3 - a sound pit stop opportunity when using Greenock's free mass transit system. 
Bar: -3Ks/3 - a vile Celtic-minded hovel. 
 
No pressure on taking the correct turn then.


Next time you are reviewing somewhere let me know.
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#56 TRVMP

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Posted 29 March 2018 - 10:30 PM

I guess it's understandable that they wouldn't do off-sales, there's other shops on the main road and they'd be undercutting their own product, ie the chance to sip a craft beverage in a salubrious ambience.
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Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#57 Malt

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Posted 01 April 2018 - 11:08 AM

Get the burns lounge reviewed.
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#58 I Hate Manpower

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Posted 25 April 2018 - 02:17 PM

How is having to ask for a fucking key to go to the bog in a boozer a bonus point, it's ridiculous!


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#59 K K Kelbie

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Posted 25 April 2018 - 07:40 PM

How is having to ask for a ****ing key to go to the bog in a boozer a bonus point, it's ridiculous!

 

Twist and the pointless gin bar will be delighted to fight it out for your custom.


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#60 K K Kelbie

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Posted 25 April 2018 - 07:58 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #3 - The Cardwell Inn

 

Let's start with the bad: this isn't really a bin pub. No tonic wines. Also no football on TV unless it's an FA Cup Final from the 1980s that they're just getting a hold of now. It serves a full food menu and coffee and its clientele includes families enjoying meals.

 

Now, some readers might at this point claim that the clue is in the name of the establishment, as 'inns' are rarely binny in nature. To which I refer you to The Star Hotel passing the bin pub tests with flying colours in the last KKK review. This reviewer treats all potential bins by their contents and not the cover. 

 

Good Exceptional: Hand poured spirits that blow the standard big boy measures out of the water. The key here is to choose your brand instead of the shitty, 20% 'vodka based liqeur' that they have conned several generations of idiots into ordering over the years. Your glass of vodka - Russian Standard gets the KKK seal of approval here - should be filled to the brim with only enough ice and coke to make it an opaque brown in colour. 

 

Verdict: 1 K/3. The spirits policy keeps it well clear of joining the shitey pub pack, but the best bin pub in Greenock? Not even close. 


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