Jump to content


Photo

German Football Clubs

And their English Equivalents

This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
16 replies to this topic

#1 capitanus

capitanus

    The epitome of gentle respectability

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7721 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 12:58 AM

Okay,

Bayern Munich = Man United - Easy one, they are bigger, richer and more successful than the rest, with the occasional dry spells.

Borussia Dortmund = Liverpool. Always in the shadow of their big rivals.

Hertha Berlin = QPR. Both from the West end of their respective capitals, but never achieve anything worthwhile.

St. Pauli = Brighton. Clubs for the Gays.

VfB Stuttgart = Newcastle Utd. Big clubs, huge support. Achieve **** all worth noting.

Eintracht Frankfurt = Leeds United. Had some success half a century ago, s***e ever since.

RB Leipzig = MK Dons. Franchise twats.

SV Hamburg = Aston Villa. Only exist for the amusement of others.
Still blinded by your intellect.

#2 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 01:15 AM

HSV absolutely spot on. Massive club from a big city, can't kick a football properly.

 

Stuttgart won the title a few short years ago so I'm not sure Newcastle have even earned the right to be England's Stuttgart.

 

St. Pauli could just as easily be Celtic because of all the grief-mongering and communist fanbase.

 

Kaiserslautern = Leicester because of a massively improbable title win (FCK's in 97/98). Reasonably-sized clubs but winning when they did was massively unexpected, although Kaiserslautern had won before.

 

Who would Nuremberg be? They were traditionally absolutely massive, one of the biggest clubs in the country, now they have a huge fanbase and nothing to show for it.

 

Nottingham Forest and Moenchengladbach? Both were big European success stories around the same time but have faded since, albeit Forest way moreso.

 

Schalke and... Sunderland? Actually that's very unfair to Schalke. But big industrial clubs with huge fanbases and relatively little success.

edit: Everton and Schalke might be more appropriate

 

Freiburg and Stoke? Provincial clubs who punch above their formerly very modest weight.

 

Coventry and Alemannia Aachen? Formerly very important cities (Aachen was where Charlemagne was crowned, Coventry admittedly has never been home to a monarch but used to be a very big deal), clubs used to be a mainstay of the top flight, both are now absolutely gubbins.


Edited by TRVMP, 05 February 2018 - 01:16 AM.

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#3 capitanus

capitanus

    The epitome of gentle respectability

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7721 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 02:01 AM

Coventry City = Dynamo Dresden. Everything else about the two of them is twinned.

Newcastle could be FC Cologne. I thought of Borussia Monchengladbach as well for Newcastle.

Leicester and their recent success could be Wolfsburg.

Schalke are Tottenham Hotspur. Both are due a bit of success.
Still blinded by your intellect.

#4 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 02:13 AM

But Schalke are a hardscrabble working-class miners' team, and Spurs are posh boys.


Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#5 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 02:25 AM

Newcastle and Koeln is a good one though, right down to the totally nonsensical dialect.


Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#6 capitanus

capitanus

    The epitome of gentle respectability

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7721 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 02:34 AM

But Schalke are a hardscrabble working-class miners' team, and Spurs are posh boys.


Aye, but credit where it's due.
Still blinded by your intellect.

#7 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 02:44 AM

Wattenscheid and Oldham. Both improbably made it to the top flight, both suburbs of a big industrial area with far more popular clubs, both have no fans, both languish in obscurity.

 

Who would be Chelsea? Maybe Leverkusen? Always a fairly good team but only really good in the 21st century, once they got a bit of cash behind them.


Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#8 capitanus

capitanus

    The epitome of gentle respectability

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7721 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 02:51 AM

Wattenscheid and Oldham. Both improbably made it to the top flight, both suburbs of a big industrial area with far more popular clubs, both have no fans, both languish in obscurity.
 
Who would be Chelsea? Maybe Leverkusen? Always a fairly good team but only really good in the 21st century, once they got a bit of cash behind them.


They were very decent in the 1990s too, winning two FA Cups, a League Cup, A European Cup Winners Cup and were beaten finalists in the ECWC the following season.
Still blinded by your intellect.

#9 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 03:03 AM

Bayer were top four in the Bundesliga for the late 90s as well, so I think this is a good comparison.

 

Bochum and Middlesbrough. Industrial cities in a built-up area but in the shadow of more successful neighbors.

 

Who are Man City? Who are Arsenal? Who are Bremen? Will we ever know?


Edited by TRVMP, 05 February 2018 - 03:28 AM.

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#10 Toulouse Le Plot

Toulouse Le Plot

    GMFC Supporter

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 88 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:24 PM

Werder Bremen are Everton.

Fortuna Dusseldorf are West Ham United.

#11 Toby

Toby

    Twisted Wee Dick

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7223 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:26 PM

Bayer were top four in the Bundesliga for the late 90s as well, so I think this is a good comparison.

Bochum and Middlesbrough. Industrial cities in a built-up area but in the shadow of more successful neighbors.

Who are Man City? Who are Arsenal? Who are Bremen? Will we ever know?


Who are Middlesborough’s more successful neighbours?

Show Grasses The Red Dot.


#12 Toulouse Le Plot

Toulouse Le Plot

    GMFC Supporter

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 88 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:29 PM

Who are Middlesborough’s more successful neighbours?


Hull City? Darlington?

#13 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:31 PM

Who are Middlesborough’s more successful neighbours?

 

Newcastle.


Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#14 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:34 PM

Werder Bremen are Everton.

Fortuna Dusseldorf are West Ham United.

 

Bremen have had more success than Everton but they're not too far off, I suppose. But not having Fortuna and West Ham. Fortuna are at best a yo-yo team and more accurately a second tier team. West Ham are an established top flight team with only brief interludes of relegation. You'd have a better case (but still too harsh on the English club) for Blackburn being Fortuna.

 

I think Fortuna are Fulham.


Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#15 Toby

Toby

    Twisted Wee Dick

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7223 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:39 PM

Newcastle.

 

Nah, you're not getting that one.


Show Grasses The Red Dot.


#16 Toulouse Le Plot

Toulouse Le Plot

    GMFC Supporter

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 88 posts

Posted 05 February 2018 - 08:45 PM

Bremen have had more success than Everton but they're not too far off, I suppose. But not having Fortuna and West Ham. Fortuna are at best a yo-yo team and more accurately a second tier team. West Ham are an established top flight team with only brief interludes of relegation. You'd have a better case (but still too harsh on the English club) for Blackburn being Fortuna.
 
I think Fortuna are Fulham.


Fortuna are West Ham. Massive club but destined to do **** all.

Blackburn would be Duisburg.

#17 TRVMP

TRVMP

    Your favorite president (me)

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 23040 posts

Posted 06 February 2018 - 12:00 AM

I wouldn't call Fortuna a massive club. I'm not a German footballe xpert but if you look at the all-time table here:
 
 
For my money, every club above them except Karlsruhe is bigger, and beneath them Wolfsburg and Eintracht are certainly bigger, and there is a decent case to be made for Mainz, 1860, and some of the East German clubs being bigger as well. In England, West Ham would be comfortably top 15.

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?