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The KKK Bin Pub Review Thread


K K Kelbie

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The KKK Bin Pub Review #13 - The Darroch Bar

 

Its a return to west Greenock this week with a visit to The Darroch - a pub that's had more changes of ownership in recent years than Dundee, Livingston and Sevco put together. And doesn't it just show.

 

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Darroch-bar-6.jpg

 

The Darroch has tried to move away from its bin pub roots in recent years, including a stint as as 'Da Rock Bar' which successfully managed to replace Dakota and Shed 21 on Greenock's 'rock bar' scene in the sense that all of them were fucking brutal shiteholes.

 

Now The Darroch has rolled back to being a pub for the sort of jaikey who can't get served in better bin pubs like Monteiths and The Wherry a short jaunt away. Think of it as the 'Cheers' of west Greenock.

 

Good points

 

It has stuck to big boy measures and its prices by West Greenock's standards are reasonable. It doesn't serve food. and also earns a bonus half K for having Staropramen on tap alongside your generic bin pub options. There is also a half decent beer garden out the back compared to the rest of West Greenock's pathetic offerings.

 

Bad points

 

There are many. No tonic wines are available. No all important period features can be found in a bin pub that has gone through a dozen failed rebrands in a row. Between the face-tripping staff and the jakey clientele, this place has as much atmosphere as the Moon and is just as empty most of the time. When KKK conducted a review during the recent international weekend, The Darroch was not showing any football but rather some pointless shite on ITV4, Not even Columbo or Quincy, just some non descript fucking drivel instead. KKK does not care whether it was only Gibraltar taking on an even more pointless rock called 'Ireland', if football is on you either stop being cheapskate bastards and pay to show it in your pub or get the laptop fired up to play it for fuck all. Especially on a fucking Saturday.

 

Verdict

 

0Ks/3. Despite a couple of decent selling points in its favour, The Darroch is now a failed bin pub with far too much wrong going on to recommend it. As it stands, The Darroch is one of the only bin pubs that would not be missed even one bit in Greater Greenock, as the two pubs alongside it do a far better job anyway. Avoid like the plague.

 

Introduce tonic wine and a Moldova level pricing policy and perhaps a re-review will be more favourable.

Will you be reviewing the Cafe Continental?

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It's true the Station Bar is a Rangers boozer but the regulars are all decent and not like your normal Old Firm cretins, only really hear a peep from them if one of the ugly sisters are playing. Big Harry who runs it is a cracking guy who goes out his way to provide half time pies and the likes for when the fitba is on, used to be my local when I lived down the shire, no bad words about it.

 

The Darroch is a shithole, I was in a few months ago for a sneaky pint, I too noticed no fitba on the telly even though they had a big flyer outside saying "all football available" along those lines. It was a decent pint of Tennents when I was in right enough compared to the shite that the Kempock are still trying to sell and they appear to have installed a full new toilet but didn't look like much else had changed in the place, shame really as it has potential to be a good boozer with the beer garden etc...

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It's true the Station Bar is a Rangers boozer but the regulars are all decent and not like your normal Old Firm cretins, only really hear a peep from them if one of the ugly sisters are playing. Big Harry who runs it is a cracking guy who goes out his way to provide half time pies and the likes for when the fitba is on, used to be my local when I lived down the shire, no bad words about it.

 

The Darroch is a shithole, I was in a few months ago for a sneaky pint, I too noticed no fitba on the telly even though they had a big flyer outside saying "all football available" along those lines. It was a decent pint of Tennents when I was in right enough compared to the shite that the Kempock are still trying to sell and they appear to have installed a full new toilet but didn't look like much else had changed in the place, shame really as it has potential to be a good boozer with the beer garden etc...

 

Outwith the games being on, the Station isn't a staunch pub really. Big Harry is actually a St Mirren fan, but used to help fund a Morton bus for a good few years at the in the early/mid 2000s when a Morton bus ran from the Station. It's a cracking wee pub, the open fire is magic in the winter. 

You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! 


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The regulars in the Station Bar were wildly celebrating Dundee United failing against Hamilton during a play off game a few years ago, on the basis that they 'had done in "The Rangers"', so I'd say that the 'staunch' tag is well deserved. 

Edited by vikingTON

The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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The regulars in the Station Bar were wildly celebrating Dundee United failing against Hamilton during a play off game a few years ago, on the basis that they 'had done in The Rangers', so I'd say that the 'staunch' tag is well deserved.

They were celebrating because they see Dundee United as the Catholic team in Dundee. It’s the staunchest pub in Inverclyde by some margin.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lithgows’ ‘no football colours including Morton allowed’ Bar currently hosting a rebel sesh inside its walls with that walloper Martin Compston and his binbag-wearing, tramp hangers-on. Sad!

 

Kill it with fire.

The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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If thats true thats fucking deplorable.

 

Celebrity or not, its totally abhorrent that theyre bending their rules for the sake of a few extra pints. What a fucking hovel he's drinking in in any case. That'll be twitter up in arms that local tim is out in town to celebrate his twice a season appearance. Fucking boo.

 

Sad little wanker.

Edited by TONofmemories

TIME FOR CHANGE!

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It’s true to the extent that I passed by and could see and hear a bunch of suited - now de-bin-bagged - wankers giving it the full rendition from inside the pub, before (loudly) overhearing in the following pub that Compston and his tadger mates had themselves headed to Lithgows and were making a massive scene of it in there. I believe that 2 + 2 = 4 and that’s the most logical version of events.

 

The rebel songs from within said hovel I can personally vouch for. These are facts.

Edited by vikingTON

The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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It’s true to the extent that I passed by and could see and hear a bunch of suited - now de-bin-bagged - wankers giving it the full rendition from inside the pub, before (loudly) overhearing in the following pub that Compston and his tadger mates had themselves headed to Lithgows and were making a massive scene of it in there. I believe that 2 + 2 = 4 and that’s the most logical version of events.

 

The rebel songs from within said hovel I can personally vouch for. These are facts.

Despicable. Truly despicable

TIME FOR CHANGE!

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