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The KKK Bin Pub Review Thread


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#301 EanieMeany

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 01:31 AM

Nothing quite sums up the ineptitude of Inverclyde pubs like not stocking yer bar for Morton winning a league. 

 

Wasn't quite on the same level as Phil Cannie getting his fanny out after the Weatherson testimonial, right enough. Strange, strange day. He gave me, Deego and BluebirdTon a lift to Belfast one time.


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AWMSC


#302 dunning1874

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Posted 13 July 2019 - 09:29 AM

Nothing quite sums up the ineptitude of Inverclyde pubs like not stocking yer bar for Morton winning a league. 
 
Wasn't quite on the same level as Phil Cannie getting his fanny out after the Weatherson testimonial, right enough. Strange, strange day. He gave me, Deego and BluebirdTon a lift to Belfast one time.


Yeah, it’s almost as if pubs might get quite busy. Started that day in The Old Bank and they only had one person behind the bar, who had to phone round their colleagues to get more staff in at 12 when it was already rammed.
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Brian Wake my Lord, Brian Wake

Brian Wake my Lord, Brian Wake

Brian Wake my Lord, Brian Wake

Oh Lord, Brian Wake


#303 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 18 July 2019 - 03:39 AM

big jed says the wilows the dugs bolicks lol


The Willow is a fine Greenock institution.
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You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! 


#304 TONofmemories

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Posted 18 July 2019 - 04:01 AM

Perhaps the  finest


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TIME FOR CHANGE!


#305 K K Kelbie

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Posted 18 July 2019 - 05:59 PM

Perhaps the  finest

 

This thread has already proved that it isnt. Next. 


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#306 K K Kelbie

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 07:10 PM

Bin Pub Leaderboard Update

 

Your intrepid reviewer from the Raploch recently found a shocking and unacceptable development at a previously reviewed bin pub:

 

dgat5xZ.jpg

 

The culprit in question is of course The Cardwell. Having already lost ground for serving any food at all an extra points deduction will be made for serving fucking rabbit food as well. 


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#307 K K Kelbie

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 07:37 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #17 - The Broomhill Tavern

 

And now we come at last to one of the iconic bin pubs of Greater Greenock. The Broomy lives on as one of the last scheme pubs in the area, a survivor in a field where the likes of the Bellview Tavern have fallen due to the constant murders within their four walls. Even in these sanitised times The Broomy still retains a wee hint of the threat of violence that would have ruled this bin pub in its heyday. 

 

 

dE5hXnW.jpg

 

Good - The Broomy's bar - the larger lounge was closed as usual - has most of the required features of a classic bin pub. A selection of standard pints on tap and big boy measures for spirits. Not the best value in the town at £1.90 for a spirit but reasonable enough. The pool table covers both entertainment as well as self defence purposes if things kick off on a rowdy evening. All-important period features include seats that lost their leather covers years ago as well as a small library, with books down a few pages when a punter spilled their pint or ran out of bog roll.

 

Bad - Not much bad to report but the lack of a proper wine list is a notable absence. A true bin pub that doesnt sell El Dorado as well is letting itself, its customers and most importantly your intrepid reviewer down. Get it sorted like The Carnock did and we'll be back for a rethink. There's also no sports on TV, just some shite cheesy radio station or, God help us, tunes from the jukebox.  

 

Verdict

 

2.5Ks/3

 

A decent enough showing from a mainstay of the Greenock bin pub scene, but it needs to double down either on cheapness or jakeyness to deserve the top prize in this contested field. A local bin that earns the KKK seal of approval though.


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#308 K K Kelbie

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 07:40 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Leaderboard
 
The Carnock - 4Ks/3
 
The Hole in the Wa 3/3
 
The Bromhill Tavern 2.5/3
 
Monteith's 2.5/3
 
The Willow 2.5/3
 
The Green Oak 2/3
 
The Station Bar 2/3
 
The Old Wherry Tavern 2/3
 
The Star 2/3 (visitors' lounge) -3/3 (bhar)
 
The Kempock 1/3
 
The Elbow Room 1/3
 
The Cardwell 0.5/3 - punished for serving lentils to fussy bellends
 
The Cloch Bar 0.5/3
 
The Horseshoe 0.5/3
 
The Spinnaker 0.5/3
 
The Darroch 0/3 - punished £10k for failure
 
--------------------------------
 
The Thistle (disqualified for morphing into a plastic paddy pub) 
 
The Burns Lounge (disqualified for being ****ing useless)

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#309 El gofer

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 10:10 PM

I have never been in, under it's current guise, but does Cheers count?
Sounds like a proper, borderline illegal drinking den, dodgy owner cheap shit beer and probable moonshine spirits.

In a couple of times when it was legends.

Lost to the town pubs..... Rotunda, the one across from ricos that became Oscars, the Regal, the Roxburgh, the Crescent.
All proper decent Bin pubs in the day.
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20.1.09

#310 TRVMP

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 10:16 PM

The Jolly Sailor.

 

Allegedly.


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Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#311 El gofer

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 11:33 PM

Quite liked Laffertys/The Steamie to be fair!!
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#312 TONofmemories

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Posted 07 August 2019 - 11:43 PM

Cheers is fucking wild.

There was some kind of Morton after party in there after the celtic game a few seasons back. They hired a DJ and the place was bouncing.

The downside is the sell carling and pass it off as T lager.

Im pretty sure their vodka is knock off as well.

Its absolutely quality if you want to sit and people/jakey watch, but don't expect to be allowed in wearing shorts. Not even on a sunny day.
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TIME FOR CHANGE!


#313 EanieMeany

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Posted 08 August 2019 - 07:39 AM

I have never been in, under it's current guise, but does Cheers count?
Sounds like a proper, borderline illegal drinking den, dodgy owner cheap shit beer and probable moonshine spirits.

In a couple of times when it was legends.

 

 

That makes it sound faintly appealling, when in reality it's just an absolute fuckin shitehole populated by jakey mutants. God knows who decided to have a big huge window across the front of it, it's the kind of place that should be opened in a nuclear fallout shelter.


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AWMSC


#314 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:23 AM

I've been in Cheers a handful of times, it's a strange place. During the day the clientele reek of pish, and it's full of scheme goblins at night. There's definitely something a bit iffy about their stock too. Was there not some Facebook spat between their staff and management recently too?


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You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! 


#315 K K Kelbie

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Posted 21 August 2019 - 05:42 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #18 
 
donnachies.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1
 
Parked between the shitey bus station, an old man's club and the arse end of a Farmfoods, Donnachies is at the heart of all cultural life in the dirty wee Port.
 
donnachies1.jpg?fit=300%2C231&ssl=1
 
Good - Donnachies boasts a worthy period feature of any good bin pub - a snug bar on the left hand side. Being able to choose between a quick pint in the snug or spending the night in the town creche for jakeys next door keeps both types of clientele happy. The free for all section has live sports on TV and most of your bin pub needs. Drinks are big boy measures but the prices are only mixed value - just over £3 a pint as standard in most other places but starting at an excellent £1.60 for spirits.
 
Bad - Donnachies does not do a tonic wine list, perhaps believing that it is too classy an establishment to serve that type of drink. It is entirely wrong on that front. A regrettable oversight for a bin pub operating among fierce local competition. While by all accounts an indispensable part of the Port nightlife scene, this pub is often as dead as Rangers during daylight hours. 
 
Verdict
 
2Ks/3
 
A solid bin pub to visit but questionable drinks policies and a lack of a proper bin pub clientele keeps it some distance from the top of the leaderboard. The dirty wee Port can surely do better than this. 

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#316 capitanus

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Posted 01 September 2019 - 05:22 PM

Bin Pub Leaderboard Update

Your intrepid reviewer from the Raploch recently found a shocking and unacceptable development at a previously reviewed bin pub:

dgat5xZ.jpg

The culprit in question is of course The Cardwell. Having already lost ground for serving any food at all an extra points deduction will be made for serving fucking rabbit food as well.


:lol: lol:

A Greenock Vegan menu
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There's nowhere to defect to anymore.

#317 K K Kelbie

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Posted 13 September 2019 - 08:13 PM

The last review wondered whether the dirty wee Port could do better than Donnachies modest placing on the leaderboard. Turns out it can. 
 
The KKK Bin Pub Review #19
 
sutherland.jpg?fit=600%2C400&ssl=1
 
Good
 
Also known as 'Sudgies', this bin pub attracts a diehard cast of regular drinkers any time of day unlike a deid shitehole like The Horseshoe. The bar features BT Sport and a pool table which as with all proper bin pubs adds an element of danger when a steroid fuelled youngster gets grannied in public by a random old jakey. Bonus bin points go to The Sutherland for having Buckfast tonic wine on optics behind the bar and keeping the mens' shiter under lock and key just like The Willow. 
 
Big boy measures are provided as standard though drink prices are reasonable rather than the dirt cheap that we're looking for. 
 
Bad
 
The Sutherland has made an ill advised although thankfully half arsed attempt to tart up its act, by offering poncey garbage like Prosecco and a fully stacked 'gin bar'. These have no place in a self respecting bin pub.
 
Verdict
 
2 1/2Ks/3 
 
Often overlooked in the bin pub reckoning, The Sutherland is a good all rounder bin pub improved by its excellent tonic wine and bog policies. But we can't be having somewhere with a 'gin bar' getting to the top ranks of this competition and so gets punished for that failure.

Edited by K K Kelbie, 13 September 2019 - 08:14 PM.

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#318 K K Kelbie

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Posted 13 September 2019 - 08:15 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Leaderboard
 
The Carnock - 4Ks/3
 
The Hole in the Wa 3/3
 
The Broomhill Tavern 2.5/3

 

The Sutherland Bar 2.5/3
 
Monteith's 2.5/3
 
The Willow 2.5/3
 
The Green Oak 2/3
 
The Station Bar 2/3
 
The Old Wherry Tavern 2/3
 
The Star 2/3 (visitors' lounge) -3/3 (bhar)

 

Donnachies 2/3
 
The Kempock 1/3
 
The Elbow Room 1/3
 
The Cardwell 0.5/3 - punished for serving lentils to fussy bellends
 
The Cloch Bar 0.5/3
 
The Horseshoe 0.5/3
 
The Spinnaker 0.5/3
 
The Darroch 0/3 - punished £10k for failure
 
--------------------------------
 
The Thistle (disqualified for morphing into a plastic paddy pub) 
 
The Burns Lounge (disqualified for being ****ing useless)


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#319 TRVMP

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Posted 13 September 2019 - 08:41 PM

:lol: lol:

A Greenock Vegan menu

 

We were eating vegan before it was cool. A chip roll sans gravy is a vegan delight.


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Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#320 capitanus

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Posted 13 September 2019 - 09:09 PM

Aye the Greenock Vegan menu - Ready Salted, Salt n Vinegar or Spring Onion.
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There's nowhere to defect to anymore.


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