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Morton-Themed 'yer Maw' Jokes


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#1 TRVMP

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 05:11 AM

Your maw's the 'third Maisano brother'
Your maw scouted Derek Laing
Your maw is the Cappielow Pie
Your maw still rates Bob McHugh

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#2 TRVMP

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 05:14 AM

Your maw stands in Sinclair Street... even when it's raining!!!

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#3 TRVMP

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 05:25 AM

Your maw stays behind after games to sing and clap along with 'we follow Morton from Cappielow'
Your maw still calls it the SPL
Your maw got banned for anti-Irish racism
Your maw threw her season book on the pitch after the 4-1 defeat to Stenhousemuir in April 2004 (then applauded them off at the Excelsior)
Your maw sells 50/50 tickets
Your maw's sustainable
Your maw refers to her conduct of loose morals behind the Wee Dublin End with all-comers as 'Project Brave'
Your maw was the table when 'Deano' played naked table tennis

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#4 TRVMP

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 05:27 AM

*May 2004 but I'm not editing the masterpiece above

Now before Gavin goes, I'd like to ask him one more question.


Do you like Abba?


#5 Toby

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 09:36 AM

“You’ve changed more of Ernie’s nappies than his maw ever did.”

Show Grasses The Red Dot.


#6 LinwoodTON

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Posted 24 July 2018 - 11:11 AM

Yer maw flips burgers for an alcoholic tramp.
<span style='font-size: 14px;'><em class='bbc'>"That LinwoodTon's a c*nt, eh?"</em></span>

#7 SramTon

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Posted 25 July 2018 - 03:36 AM

Tommy Turner’s wife’s yer maw.

Look at her riding pillions on Davy’s sea-bike, carrying an apoplectic macaw in a silver hoop. Oh, Morton, let’s go there this winter!  Or learning the Japanese chinchona from that Kobe group, in a dress that looks like a blowtorch rising from one knee, and which should sell big in Texas. Morton, is that real fire? Happy, happy little girl!


#8 Trick37

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Posted 25 July 2018 - 03:41 AM

Yo mama (*ahem* yer maw) is so fat.....

She was standing at the airport waiting for a yellow cab, while wearing a one-piece jumpsuit.....
     She bent down to pick something up...her one-piece jumpsuit split up the ass end...and two guys jumped in thinking it was a yellow taxi.


"Throw me to the wolves, and I'll return leading the pack." ---Unknown

"May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't." ---General George S. Patton, Jr.

 


#9 Cappiecat 1.2

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Posted 25 July 2018 - 12:24 PM

Yo mama (*ahem* yer maw) is so fat.....
She was standing at the airport waiting for a yellow cab, while wearing a one-piece jumpsuit.....
She bent down to pick something up...her one-piece jumpsuit split up the ass end...and two guys jumped in thinking it was a yellow taxi.


1/10. Truly dreadful joke, told abysmally.

Were the two guys ex Morton players??

#10 Frankie Boyled

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Posted 31 July 2018 - 12:06 PM

Yo mamas so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her!
Thanks my taxi is waiting

#11 Cappiecat 1.2

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Posted 31 July 2018 - 04:24 PM

Yo mamas so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her!


Were one of you wearing a Morton top?

Did it happen at Cappielow?

#12 Frankie Boyled

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Posted 01 August 2018 - 11:15 AM

Let me fix that for you Cappiecat 1.2

Yo mamas so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her!



As I slowly lowered a Kebab into her mouth using my Morton scarf.. better?

#13 Cappiecat 1.2

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Posted 01 August 2018 - 12:57 PM

Yes, now it's a Morton themed yer maw joke.

Without rules chaos would reign.

#14 LinwoodTON

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Posted 01 August 2018 - 09:48 PM


<span style='font-size: 14px;'><em class='bbc'>"That LinwoodTon's a c*nt, eh?"</em></span>