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The KKK Bin Pub Review Thread


K K Kelbie

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The KKK Bin Pub Review #12 - The Station Bar

 

For this one KKK was forced to head out to the lawless frontier zone between Civilisation and the barbaric hellhole known as Ayrshire. Fortunately there was a bin pub to make the trip worthwhile.

 

station-cafe-wemyss-bay.jpg

 

The Station Bar is a fixture of the bin pub scene, serving its core clientele of 'people who got pished and fell asleep on the train, waking up in Wemyss fucking Bay when it stopped'. Also, the native spear-chuckers coming over on the boat from Bute, Greenock's very own summer house. 

 

article-2348023-1A7E9816000005DC-247_634

 

Good: The Station Bar retains all important character features. Firstly, note the roaring coal fire instead of the shitey and fusty radiators that are used to keep inferior pubs warm in the winter months. It also doesn't have a men's toilet - you're advised to use the ones in the station outside - but when they close this bin pub turns its ladies into a unisex effort. So it's well ahead of the 'woke' trend on that front. It also serves big boy measures, all the required pints on tap and sports on TV. The punters are most definitely on the staunch side though. 

 

Bad: A wine list that has Pinot Grigio on it instead of El Dorado, food can be ordered from the cafe next door during the day and prices that are steep by bin pub standards. 

 

Verdict: 2Ks/3

The Station Bar could be a failure in the middle of nowhere like The Cloch but it isn't. Period features are a big reason why this remains a viable bin pub. The other one is location. A bin pub inside a train station trumps all other locations in Greenock. It also offers great entertainment whenever some spear-chuckers miss their last boat and have to fend for themselves on the mainland. The Station Bar therefore earns a respectable position on the bin pub leaderboard.

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The KKK Bin Pub Leaderboard


 


The Carnock - 4Ks/3


The Hole in the Wa - 3/3


Monteith's 2.5/3


The Willow - 2.5/3


The Green Oak - 2/3


The Station Bar 2/3


The Old Wherry Tavern - 2/3


The Star - 2/3 (visitors' lounge) -3/3 (bhar)


The Cardwell - 1/3


The Kempock 1/3


The Cloch Bar - 0.5/3


 


--------------------------------


 


The Thistle (disqualified for morphing into a plastic paddy pub) 


The Burns Lounge (disqualified for being ****ing useless)


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The KKK Bin Pub Review #12 - The Station Bar

 

For this one KKK was forced to head out to the lawless frontier zone between Civilisation and the barbaric hellhole known as Ayrshire. Fortunately there was a bin pub to make the trip worthwhile.

 

station-cafe-wemyss-bay.jpg

 

The Station Bar is a fixture of the bin pub scene, serving its core clientele of 'people who got pished and fell asleep on the train, waking up in Wemyss fucking Bay when it stopped'. Also, the native spear-chuckers coming over on the boat from Bute, Greenock's very own summer house.

 

article-2348023-1A7E9816000005DC-247_634

 

Good: The Station Bar retains all important character features. Firstly, note the roaring coal fire instead of the shitey and fusty radiators that are used to keep inferior pubs warm in the winter months. It also doesn't have a men's toilet - you're advised to use the ones in the station outside - but when they close this bin pub turns its ladies into a unisex effort. So it's well ahead of the 'woke' trend on that front. It also serves big boy measures, all the required pints on tap and sports on TV. The punters are most definitely on the staunch side though.

 

Bad: A wine list that has Pinot Grigio on it instead of El Dorado, food can be ordered from the cafe next door during the day and prices that are steep by bin pub standards.

 

Verdict: 2Ks/3

The Station Bar could be a failure in the middle of nowhere like The Cloch but it isn't. Period features are a big reason why this remains a viable bin pub. The other one is location. A bin pub inside a train station trumps all other locations in Greenock. It also offers great entertainment whenever some spear-chuckers miss their last boat and have to fend for themselves on the mainland. The Station Bar therefore earns a respectable position on the bin pub leaderboard.

It’s a good Rangers pub.

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I read in the Tele that the black cat was voted the best pub in Inverclyde or something like that. Someone is trying to cut your grass.

Good people will do good things, bad people will do bad things, but only with religion do good people do bad things!

 

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I read in the Tele that the black cat was voted the best pub in Inverclyde or something like that. Someone is trying to cut your grass.

It's full of mhutants. Avoid.

You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! 


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Why is it you refuse to do the Westburn again? It needs done.

 

There's no refusal going on: all bin pubs will be done in good time. Its going to be a long summer.

 

Also, will you be doing the Wanderers’ club house? I can arrange a guided tour if you like?

 

If I wanted a pint of warm pish surrounded by wankers then I'd review the nearest Belhaven instead. 

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