K K Kelbie Posted May 2, 2019 Author Share Posted May 2, 2019 The KKK Bin Pub Review #12 - The Station Bar For this one KKK was forced to head out to the lawless frontier zone between Civilisation and the barbaric hellhole known as Ayrshire. Fortunately there was a bin pub to make the trip worthwhile. The Station Bar is a fixture of the bin pub scene, serving its core clientele of 'people who got pished and fell asleep on the train, waking up in Wemyss fucking Bay when it stopped'. Also, the native spear-chuckers coming over on the boat from Bute, Greenock's very own summer house. Good: The Station Bar retains all important character features. Firstly, note the roaring coal fire instead of the shitey and fusty radiators that are used to keep inferior pubs warm in the winter months. It also doesn't have a men's toilet - you're advised to use the ones in the station outside - but when they close this bin pub turns its ladies into a unisex effort. So it's well ahead of the 'woke' trend on that front. It also serves big boy measures, all the required pints on tap and sports on TV. The punters are most definitely on the staunch side though. Bad: A wine list that has Pinot Grigio on it instead of El Dorado, food can be ordered from the cafe next door during the day and prices that are steep by bin pub standards. Verdict: 2Ks/3 The Station Bar could be a failure in the middle of nowhere like The Cloch but it isn't. Period features are a big reason why this remains a viable bin pub. The other one is location. A bin pub inside a train station trumps all other locations in Greenock. It also offers great entertainment whenever some spear-chuckers miss their last boat and have to fend for themselves on the mainland. The Station Bar therefore earns a respectable position on the bin pub leaderboard. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted May 2, 2019 Author Share Posted May 2, 2019 The KKK Bin Pub Leaderboard The Carnock - 4Ks/3 The Hole in the Wa - 3/3 Monteith's 2.5/3 The Willow - 2.5/3 The Green Oak - 2/3 The Station Bar 2/3 The Old Wherry Tavern - 2/3 The Star - 2/3 (visitors' lounge) -3/3 (bhar) The Cardwell - 1/3 The Kempock 1/3 The Cloch Bar - 0.5/3 -------------------------------- The Thistle (disqualified for morphing into a plastic paddy pub) The Burns Lounge (disqualified for being ****ing useless) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BishopBrennan Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 I think you're being a tad harsh there Kevin. I'd have gone for 2.5Ks. A fine drinking establishment. You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_Partridge_Ton Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 The KKK Bin Pub Review #12 - The Station Bar For this one KKK was forced to head out to the lawless frontier zone between Civilisation and the barbaric hellhole known as Ayrshire. Fortunately there was a bin pub to make the trip worthwhile. The Station Bar is a fixture of the bin pub scene, serving its core clientele of 'people who got pished and fell asleep on the train, waking up in Wemyss fucking Bay when it stopped'. Also, the native spear-chuckers coming over on the boat from Bute, Greenock's very own summer house. Good: The Station Bar retains all important character features. Firstly, note the roaring coal fire instead of the shitey and fusty radiators that are used to keep inferior pubs warm in the winter months. It also doesn't have a men's toilet - you're advised to use the ones in the station outside - but when they close this bin pub turns its ladies into a unisex effort. So it's well ahead of the 'woke' trend on that front. It also serves big boy measures, all the required pints on tap and sports on TV. The punters are most definitely on the staunch side though. Bad: A wine list that has Pinot Grigio on it instead of El Dorado, food can be ordered from the cafe next door during the day and prices that are steep by bin pub standards. Verdict: 2Ks/3 The Station Bar could be a failure in the middle of nowhere like The Cloch but it isn't. Period features are a big reason why this remains a viable bin pub. The other one is location. A bin pub inside a train station trumps all other locations in Greenock. It also offers great entertainment whenever some spear-chuckers miss their last boat and have to fend for themselves on the mainland. The Station Bar therefore earns a respectable position on the bin pub leaderboard. It’s a good Rangers pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TONofmemories Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Why is it you refuse to do the Westburn again? It needs done. TIME FOR CHANGE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_Partridge_Ton Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Why is it you refuse to do the Westburn again? It needs done. An unsung gem of the Greenock pub scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_Partridge_Ton Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Also, will you be doing the Wanderers’ club house? I can arrange a guided tour if you like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EanieMeany Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Also, will you be doing the Wanderers’ club house? I can arrange a guided tour if you like? It'll actually just be a Cafe regular with his mother's cataract glasses on. AWMSC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_Partridge_Ton Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 It'll actually just be a Cafe regular with his mother's cataract glasses on. Ed de Ball is fine. LinwoodTon is fine. Lord Volvic is fine. Dr Zhivago is fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneeeeeeee. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EanieMeany Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Why is it you refuse to do the Westburn again? It needs done. The Westburn is excellent. AWMSC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TONofmemories Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Agreed, but from memory KKk doesnt want to review it. TIME FOR CHANGE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cappiecat 1.2 Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Agreed, but from memory KKk doesnt want to review it. Barred; public onanism. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
port-ton Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I read in the Tele that the black cat was voted the best pub in Inverclyde or something like that. Someone is trying to cut your grass. Good people will do good things, bad people will do bad things, but only with religion do good people do bad things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BishopBrennan Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 I read in the Tele that the black cat was voted the best pub in Inverclyde or something like that. Someone is trying to cut your grass. It's full of mhutants. Avoid. You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TONofmemories Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Bheast pub TIME FOR CHANGE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LargsTON Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Was in the westburn last night for a few pints. Cracking boozer though I did go out in a blaze of glory knowing I wouldn't be back anytime soon. "CORNBEEF IS A BELLEND" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_Partridge_Ton Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Was in the westburn last night for a few pints. Cracking boozer though I did go out in a blaze of glory knowing I wouldn't be back anytime soon. What did you do? Did you draw a ladies part on the wall in the lavatory? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LargsTON Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 What did you do? Did you draw a ladies part on the wall in the lavatory? Wheeled out the Morton song book knowing full well my bus was due "CORNBEEF IS A BELLEND" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TONofmemories Posted May 5, 2019 Share Posted May 5, 2019 Should be allowed in greenock IMO TIME FOR CHANGE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted May 8, 2019 Author Share Posted May 8, 2019 Why is it you refuse to do the Westburn again? It needs done. There's no refusal going on: all bin pubs will be done in good time. Its going to be a long summer. Also, will you be doing the Wanderers’ club house? I can arrange a guided tour if you like? If I wanted a pint of warm pish surrounded by wankers then I'd review the nearest Belhaven instead. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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