Popular Post K K Kelbie Posted March 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) I was driving down the coast road the other day and spotted a sign for a bar at the Cloch Caravan Park, which was the first I'd heard of such a thing. As my body is a temple on a school day I didn't take the turn up to explore this time, but it had me thinking about what other drinking dens exist within the sprawling metropolis of Greenock that aren't widely known about.As a connoisseur of bin pubs, I've enjoyed a Tartan Special or two in the following places:The Dirty PortStar 'Hotel'CometDonnachie'sSutherlandPrince of Wales (now dead like Rangers)City CentreCarnocks***ehouseJimmyWaterline (not the latest Livingston type franchise job)Old BankWestburnHole in the Wa'Norseman (Hole in the Ceiling)Green OakHorseshoeChaplinsWillowThistle a.k.a The New Lynedoch a.k.a The Super Fun Karaoke PubBroomyWest EndEverywhere from the Cardwell to The Firth (also dead like Rangers)The only other pub missing from this tour of duty to my knowledge is the Burns Lounge, as Kyle got barred from there a few years ago when a tense game of dominoes turned into a full scale rammy on a Tuesday afternoon. Shame. So is this mysterious Cloch Bar the only other place to have missed out on the KKK pound?Discuss your experiences of Greenock's finest hostelries, and The Norseman as well. Edited October 18, 2018 by K K Kelbie 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Rex Kramer Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) You've missed out Cheers. It's a rough place, the seediest dive on Greenock wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bishopton to Skelmorlie; it's worse than Paisley. Edited March 8, 2018 by Captain Rex Kramer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irnbru Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 The argyle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) The argyle? Good spot! Both Ks have indeed spent time in it but left baffled by its half-arsed transformation into a respectable pub. A forgettable establishment, but its beer garden is excellent. Edited March 8, 2018 by K K Kelbie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Stalin Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) If we're expanding our dominant rule like Soviet Russia between 1939-45 - and who wouldn't? - then the Elbow Room in Inverkip, the Station Bar in Wemyss Bay and the Black Bull in Rothesay also now form part of Greenock's bin pub dominion. Edited March 8, 2018 by Uncle Joe Stalin 1 A single red dot is a tragedy; one million red dots is a statistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRVMP Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 We're not counting Brewers Fayre-type places or the bar at the Tontine, presumably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) We're not counting Brewers Fayre-type places or the bar at the Tontine, presumably. No. The weirdo out of town chains are fake pubs, including the Hungry Horse outfit at the dock. This isn't Livingston, we can safely discard them as we have real pubs instead. The bar at The Tontine probably doesn't open at 11am for a Saturday kick-off and wouldn't dream of serving a cheeky pint of Tennents Special. It's a cocktail bar which are all excluded from the KKK/bin pub checklist. Edited March 8, 2018 by K K Kelbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irnbru Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) Good spot! Both Ks have indeed spent time in it but left baffled by its half-arsed transformation into a respectable pub. A forgettable establishment, but its beer garden is excellent.I was there last weekend and the clientele were a bit dodgy... Plus they advertise a wide range of gin and they had none at all (wasn't for me obviously). Edited March 8, 2018 by irnbru Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irnbru Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 We're not counting Brewers Fayre-type places or the bar at the Tontine, presumably. Both bars at the tontine are decent but it's a good point. What about the exchange, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irnbru Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 If we're expanding our dominant rule like Soviet Russia between 1939-45 - and who wouldn't? - then the Elbow Room in Inverkip, the Station Bar in Wemyss Bay and the Black Bull in Rothesay also now form part of Greenock's bin pub dominion. If you're going to Rothesay then there's Skermorlie and Kilmacolm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 Both bars at the tontine are decent but it's a good point. What about the exchange, etc. Cocktail bar. If you need to ponder what type of drink you're going to order, it is not a proper Greenock watering hole. Never mind read a menu FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irnbru Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Cocktail bar. If you need to ponder what type of drink you're going to order, it is not a proper Greenock watering hole. Never mind read a menu FFS. The willow has a cocktail menu now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 The willow has a cocktail menu now... The Willow doesn't actually provide this menu in the pub though, as it understands that you still want a Tartan Special/Caledonian Best/spirit at the bar anyway. Next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRVMP Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) There is definitely a line to be drawn between pub and hotel bar/cocktail bar/gastropub (of which I don't think there are any in Inverclyde.) The mere existence of cocktails on the menu doesn't make something a cocktail bar. The James Watt has a massive food menu and all manner of cocktails but it is by virtue of its pricing and opening hours very much a pub: if there's jakes in there at two in the afternoon well into their third pint, it's a pub. As such, the Jimmy is a pub, regardless of whether someone actually orders a mojito and penne carbonara. The Willow also remains a pub even if they have a dusty inkjet printout somewhere advertising "Cocktail's". Rothesay is well out of dominion. The Greater Greenock Conurbation ends at Skelmorlie. edit: and the Elbow Room in Inverkip is a pub even though it shares a space with the Inverkip Hotel restaurant, which is not a pub. If there's a separate entrance and a distinct change of atmosphere, pubdom is permitted. Kind of like how there used to be the lounge as well as the bar in old pubs (still the case in the Argyll & Sutherland, possibly others as well.) Edited March 8, 2018 by TRVMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Stalin Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 If you're going to Rothesay then there's Skermorlie and Kilmacolm... And the Soviet Union in 1945 could have gone into Finland and Austria but didn't, because they're irrelevant bins. Rothesay is Greenock's East Germany/Crimea, with enough bin pubs to justify outright annexation. 1 A single red dot is a tragedy; one million red dots is a statistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRVMP Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Kilmacolm should only be invaded if there's a scorched-earth policy in place. For one thing, it only has one pub - outrageous for a village of its size. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoon Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Is that list in any particular order? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K K Kelbie Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 Is that list in any particular order? From east to west across the Metropolis without being pedantic about bin pub locations within each specific hub. Next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Uncle Joe Stalin Posted March 8, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted March 8, 2018 Kilmacolm should only be invaded if there's a scorched-earth policy in place. For one thing, it only has one pub - outrageous for a village of its size. Only if Hugh Scott can be safely captured and pushed at bayonet point into a Yekaterinburg cellar. 3 A single red dot is a tragedy; one million red dots is a statistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BishopBrennan Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 If we're expanding our dominant rule like Soviet Russia between 1939-45 - and who wouldn't? - then the Elbow Room in Inverkip, the Station Bar in Wemyss Bay and the Black Bull in Rothesay also now form part of Greenock's bin pub dominion. The Station Bar is an outstanding pub. An open log fire and you're approximately 4 seconds away from the train. An excellent choice. You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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