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Worst Team of the Decade - Central Midfielders


  

50 members have voted

  1. 1. Central Midfielders

    • Neil MacFarlane
      4
    • Stevie Masterton
      4
    • Jim McAlister
      0
    • Carlo Monti
      6
    • Erik Paartalu
      1
    • Graeme Holmes
      10
    • Darren Young
      19
    • Darren McGeough
      16
    • Derek Young
      22
    • Stephen Stirling
      4
    • Reece Hands
      2
    • Joe McKee
      2
    • David Robertson
      34
    • Robbie Crawford
      3
    • Michael Miller
      6
    • Gary Fraser
      17
    • Gary Harkins
      1
    • Conor McManus
      7
    • Dylan Dykes
      40
    • Reece Lyon
      1
    • Chris Millar
      1
    • Charlie Telfer
      1
    • Cameron Blues
      13
    • Luca Colville
      0
    • Kyle Jacobs
      0


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He even managed to get capped for Australia, definitely undeserving of a place on this list.

 

Australia are absolute mung - always have been, always will be. Decent athletes of Australian provenance play other sports. What the "Soccerroos" get are various second-generation immigrants from Malta and the Lebanon who haven't learned how to hold a cricket bat; or those for whom oval balls suggest witchcraft and sorcery. Playing football in Australia is like playing hockey in Scotland - yeah, fair enough, you're in the national team, but everyone knows it's because you weren't good enough to get a fancy blazer at school.

 

Even when they were supposedly good they were bad. I was at the 2010 World Cup game where Germany beat them 4-0. To say that Germany got out of first gear would be an insult to their fine history of automotive engineering. In the mild Durban evening, I don't think any non-Castlemaine drinker broke a sweat that night. And it proved once and for all that you don't need to be good to start a World Cup game. Scott Chipperfield, supposedly the stalwart professional of the team, put in one of the worst individual performances I've ever seen in the flesh, easily bottom three, and I've watched Morton in the Third Division and several Junior games besides.

 

Australia have become much worse since then. But because they don't play in UEFA or CONMEBOL it doesn't matter. They have a free hit for every single tournament they "compete" in. And even then they fuck it up unless they're playing on home soil in their ridiculous "futty" stadiums. All of their "honours" - every last one, from those various OFC baubles onwards - are tainted. They won the AFC Nations Cup in 2015, because the goals were set up like rugby posts and nobody noticed until six months later. And Paartalu didn't even make the squad! He watched on TV as Australia sworded those powerhouses of the beautiful game, South Korea, who then had all of two good players (admittedly two more than they've had for most of their history.)

 

You don't have to be any good to get a game for Australia. You have to have a pulse and be able to pass the ball forward (their other "codes" either disallow forward passing completely, or make you punch it like one's "Sheila", to propel it towards your "fair dinkum ocker" (intended recipient).) No, if anything an Australian cap is a scarlet letter for professional footballers, a sign that their actual country - Croatia, Scotland, Estonia, whatever - either couldn't afford the flight out to scout the player, or thought the better of having someone with a corked hat singing the theme tune from Home & Away during training sessions.

 

With that said, Paartalu was a pretty decent player for our level. Not glamourous, but he got the job done. Definitely undeserving of a place on this list.

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Australia are absolute mung - always have been, always will be. Decent athletes of Australian provenance play other sports. What the "Soccerroos" get are various second-generation immigrants from Malta and the Lebanon who haven't learned how to hold a cricket bat; or those for whom oval balls suggest witchcraft and sorcery. Playing football in Australia is like playing hockey in Scotland - yeah, fair enough, you're in the national team, but everyone knows it's because you weren't good enough to get a fancy blazer at school.

 

Even when they were supposedly good they were bad. I was at the 2010 World Cup game where Germany beat them 4-0. To say that Germany got out of first gear would be an insult to their fine history of automotive engineering. In the mild Durban evening, I don't think any non-Castlemaine drinker broke a sweat that night. And it proved once and for all that you don't need to be good to start a World Cup game. Scott Chipperfield, supposedly the stalwart professional of the team, put in one of the worst individual performances I've ever seen in the flesh, easily bottom three, and I've watched Morton in the Third Division and several Junior games besides.

 

Australia have become much worse since then. But because they don't play in UEFA or CONMEBOL it doesn't matter. They have a free hit for every single tournament they "compete" in. And even then they fuck it up unless they're playing on home soil in their ridiculous "futty" stadiums. All of their "honours" - every last one, from those various OFC baubles onwards - are tainted. They won the AFC Nations Cup in 2015, because the goals were set up like rugby posts and nobody noticed until six months later. And Paartalu didn't even make the squad! He watched on TV as Australia sworded those powerhouses of the beautiful game, South Korea, who then had all of two good players (admittedly two more than they've had for most of their history.)

 

You don't have to be any good to get a game for Australia. You have to have a pulse and be able to pass the ball forward (their other "codes" either disallow forward passing completely, or make you punch it like one's "Sheila", to propel it towards your "fair dinkum ocker" (intended recipient).) No, if anything an Australian cap is a scarlet letter for professional footballers, a sign that their actual country - Croatia, Scotland, Estonia, whatever - either couldn't afford the flight out to scout the player, or thought the better of having someone with a corked hat singing the theme tune from Home & Away during training sessions.

 

With that said, Paartalu was a pretty decent player for our level. Not glamourous, but he got the job done. Definitely undeserving of a place on this list.

Australia's 2006 team was decent. More of a case like Wales where a nation has fluked a few top quality players, but they were decent. Qualified at the expense of Uruguay and then reaching the knockout stages to get knocked out by a very late goal against the champions, Italy.

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Sorry, I thought Erik was terrible. He was basically an Olympic rower who somehow ended up being thrown a Morton strip.

 

Just because he enjoyed a decent career after he left Morton, doesn't alter my view of him. There are other players on the list that may be worse, but in my opinion, haven't played enough games for us to be considered for a worst 11.

 

For a worst 11 you have to really go 'oh for fuck sake' when you hear their name read out over the tannoy. Dykes and Blues etc dont have the game time for that.

I want a pretentious signature too.

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Sorry, I thought Erik was terrible. He was basically an Olympic rower who somehow ended up being thrown a Morton strip.

 

Just because he enjoyed a decent career after he left Morton, doesn't alter my view of him. There are other players on the list that may be worse, but in my opinion, haven't played enough games for us to be considered for a worst 11.

 

For a worst 11 you have to really go 'oh for fuck sake' when you hear their name read out over the tannoy. Dykes and Blues etc dont have the game time for that.

He got much better towards the end, and had a decent run of games for us.

 

There are plenty who were worse than him on that list, even if you just go for players who played quite a few matches.

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Australia are absolute mung - always have been, always will be. Decent athletes of Australian provenance play other sports. What the "Soccerroos" get are various second-generation immigrants from Malta and the Lebanon who haven't learned how to hold a cricket bat; or those for whom oval balls suggest witchcraft and sorcery. Playing football in Australia is like playing hockey in Scotland - yeah, fair enough, you're in the national team, but everyone knows it's because you weren't good enough to get a fancy blazer at school.

 

Even when they were supposedly good they were bad. I was at the 2010 World Cup game where Germany beat them 4-0. To say that Germany got out of first gear would be an insult to their fine history of automotive engineering. In the mild Durban evening, I don't think any non-Castlemaine drinker broke a sweat that night. And it proved once and for all that you don't need to be good to start a World Cup game. Scott Chipperfield, supposedly the stalwart professional of the team, put in one of the worst individual performances I've ever seen in the flesh, easily bottom three, and I've watched Morton in the Third Division and several Junior games besides.

 

Australia have become much worse since then. But because they don't play in UEFA or CONMEBOL it doesn't matter. They have a free hit for every single tournament they "compete" in. And even then they fuck it up unless they're playing on home soil in their ridiculous "futty" stadiums. All of their "honours" - every last one, from those various OFC baubles onwards - are tainted. They won the AFC Nations Cup in 2015, because the goals were set up like rugby posts and nobody noticed until six months later. And Paartalu didn't even make the squad! He watched on TV as Australia sworded those powerhouses of the beautiful game, South Korea, who then had all of two good players (admittedly two more than they've had for most of their history.)

 

You don't have to be any good to get a game for Australia. You have to have a pulse and be able to pass the ball forward (their other "codes" either disallow forward passing completely, or make you punch it like one's "Sheila", to propel it towards your "fair dinkum ocker" (intended recipient).) No, if anything an Australian cap is a scarlet letter for professional footballers, a sign that their actual country - Croatia, Scotland, Estonia, whatever - either couldn't afford the flight out to scout the player, or thought the better of having someone with a corked hat singing the theme tune from Home & Away during training sessions.

 

With that said, Paartalu was a pretty decent player for our level. Not glamourous, but he got the job done. Definitely undeserving of a place on this list.

You know what, fair enough. His midfield partner was Aaron Mooy in his only start who was just fresh from his time at St Mirren so not exactly any heavy weights in the team.

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Paartalu was not a particularly talented football but was effective sitting in front of the defence in Sir David Irons' magnificent team of six foot four hammer throwers. A definite upgrade on Jim McInally's odious lovechild Scott McLaughlin in that role. Everybody bitched and whined about his long throws at the time as well but you need to look no further than the highlights of the Firhill game to discover that they were in fact very effective.

 

He was essentially a beta, non-mental version of Martin Hardie, which is why he's kept a professional career going for nearly fifteen years instead of joining the Central Scotland Herbalife sales team like half of the dung players on this poll.

Marc Fitzpatrick kept a professional career for years after he left Morton.

 

Glad to see it's not bugging you to yeb extent you spend half an hour ranting about this though.

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Glad to see it's not bugging you to yeb extent you spend half an hour ranting about this though.

It doesn't take me half an hour because unlike yourself I don't thump the keyboard with my fists to try and put together a cogent post. And failing in the case of the word salad above.

 

Thanks for playing anyway champ.

The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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It doesn't take me half an hour because unlike yourself I don't thump the keyboard with my fists to try and put together a cogent post. And failing in the case of the word salad above.

 

Thanks for playing anyway champ.

Glad to see you've found better things to do than post 1000 word responses that no one reads.

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Airdrie aren't a professional club? I stand corrected.

Airdrie were part time and thus a semi-professional club when Fitzpatrick played for them. Gutted for you.

 

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The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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Glad to see you've found better things to do than post 1000 word responses that no one reads.

When the opponent is thick as mince even a single sentence is enough to completely own them, time and time again.

The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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When the opponent is thick as mince even a single sentence is enough to completely own them, time and time again.

Aye, owned by posts that no one reads written by an angry wee boy who still lives with his maw and is too shy to talk to people in real life.

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Airdrie aren't a professional club? I stand corrected.

Airdrie are a semi-professional club. Fitzpatrick left us for part time football because he wasn't good enough to find a full time club and continue as a professional footballer.

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Airdrie are a semi-professional club. Fitzpatrick left us for part time football because he wasn't good enough to find a full time club and continue as a professional footballer.

The P in SPFL might give you a clue as to what level of football he plays.

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The P in SPFL might give you a clue as to the type of football he plays.

It’s all down to your definition of professional and tbh I think it’s a bit pernickety to be splitting hairs over the difference between professional and semi-professional, but it was only until recently that Queen’s Park operates as an amateur (if you ignore the brown envelopes) club in the SPFL.

 

“SPFL” is a brand name, nothing else. They couldn’t use “Scottish Football League” as that was the body that was being taken over and closed down so they had to stick something in there.

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Aye, owned by posts that no one reads written by an angry wee boy who still lives with his maw and is too shy to talk to people in real life.

 

Still, at least you're taking it well.

 

The P in SPFL might give you a clue as to what level of football he plays.

 

^^^ idiot found

The site is supposed to be a place for the extended 'family' of Morton supporters - having an affinity with people that you don't know, because you share a love of your local football club. It's not supposed to be about point scoring and showing how 'clever' or 'funny' you are, or just being downright rude and offensive to people you don't know, because you can get away with it. Unfortunately, it seems the classic case of people who have little standing/presence in real life, use this forum as a way of making themselves feel as if they are something. It's sad, and I've said that before..

 

So, having been on Morton forums for about 15 years I guess, I've had enough... well done t*ssers, another Morton supporter driven away. You can all feel happy at how 'clever' you are

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The P in SPFL might give you a clue as to what level of football he plays.

No need to be cheeky like that. I think it's clear what was meant by professional when related to Paartalu, and that's not being a part time player.

 

That's why it's a long established thing that part time club's in professional leagues are referred to as semi-professional. I really don't want to start splitting hairs, as it's abundantly clear what the original point was.

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It’s all down to your definition of professional and tbh I think it’s a bit pernickety to be splitting hairs over the difference between professional and semi-professional, but it was only until recently that Queen’s Park operates as an amateur (if you ignore the brown envelopes) club in the SPFL.

 

“SPFL” is a brand name, nothing else. They couldn’t use “Scottish Football League” as that was the body that was being taken over and closed down so they had to stick something in there.

Aye, the point was that terrible players have played a decent level of football after leaving us so saying Paartalu managed years as a professional player doesn't really mean much.

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Aye, the point was that terrible players have played a decent level of football after leaving us so saying Paartalu managed years as a professional player doesn't really mean much.

I'm sorry. I just don't think that, 'kept a professional career going' as a player refers to playing part time at Airdrie. I would take that to mean that being a football player was their profession and main means of income. I can understand where you're getting a level of ambiguity from, but there's nothing in the context of the post which suggests any ambiguity over its meaning.

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