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The KKK Bin Pub Review Thread


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#61 TONofmemories

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 07:30 AM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #3 - The Cardwell Inn

 

Let's start with the bad: this isn't really a bin pub. No tonic wines. Also no football on TV unless it's an FA Cup Final from the 1980s that they're just getting a hold of now. It serves a full food menu and coffee and its clientele includes families enjoying meals.

 

Now, some readers might at this point claim that the clue is in the name of the establishment, as 'inns' are rarely binny in nature. To which I refer you to The Star Hotel passing the bin pub tests with flying colours in the last KKK review. This reviewer treats all potential bins by their contents and not the cover. 

 

Good Exceptional: Hand poured spirits that blow the standard big boy measures out of the water. The key here is to choose your brand instead of the s***ty, 20% 'vodka based liqeur' that they have conned several generations of idiots into ordering over the years. Your glass of vodka - Russian Standard gets the KKK seal of approval here - should be filled to the brim with only enough ice and coke to make it an opaque brown in colour. 

 

Verdict: 1 K/3. The spirits policy keeps it well clear of joining the s***ey pub pack, but the best bin pub in Greenock? Not even close. 

 

 

I ****ing hope not considering it's in Gourock. 


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#62 I Hate Manpower

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 11:04 AM

It's a valid point, asking for a key at a busy bar to use the bog, ffs. The Willow is a cracking boozer, that's the only thing that lets it down, it's NOT a bonus.


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#63 I Hate Manpower

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 11:12 AM

Spot on with The Cardwell! That's my local, well it's the closest boozer to my house, it's lack of SKY or BT Sports really does ruin an otherwise brilliant boozer, having to walk to The Vic is a pain in the tits.

 

Sort it out Cradwell!!!! Place is always fairy busy too!


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#64 K K Kelbie

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 02:45 PM

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I ****ing hope not considering it's in Gourock. 

 

Gourock is just a suburb of Greenock. As is Port Glasgow, Inverkip, Wemyss Bay and Bute. 


Edited by K K Kelbie, 26 April 2018 - 02:45 PM.

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#65 K K Kelbie

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Posted 26 April 2018 - 02:51 PM

It's a valid point, asking for a key at a busy bar to use the bog, ffs. The Willow is a cracking boozer, that's the only thing that lets it down, it's NOT a bonus.

 

It is a character feature, all of which are vital to a good bin pub. 


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#66 EanieMeany

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 08:48 AM

The Prince Of Wales is, accordingly to yesterday's Telegraph, due to re-open as an Irish pub called "O'Docherty's" because "there are no Irish bars in Inverclyde and 90% of Port Glasgow is of Irish descent".

 

Sounds absolutely s***e, that.


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#67 TONofmemories

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 09:59 AM

Oft. Absolute minter. 

 

Another watering hole for bigots. 


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#68 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 10:09 AM

The guy trying to open it has a bit of a tasty history about him too, apparently.
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#69 TONofmemories

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 10:58 AM

Any links to the story?


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#70 TRVMP

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 02:53 PM

90%?

Also is Slanj closed?
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#71 irnbru

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Posted 02 May 2018 - 03:02 PM

90%?

Also is Slanj closed?

 

Aye, someone was working on it to open it again a year or two ago but seem to have given up.


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#72 EanieMeany

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Posted 03 May 2018 - 09:33 AM

The guy trying to open it has a bit of a tasty history about him too, apparently.

Some guy called "Karate Joe".

 

 

Aye, someone was working on it to open it again a year or two ago but seem to have given up.

It was meant to be some kind of restaurant that also had Sky Sports. Domestics left right and centre there when the guy's sitting watching the football over his burd's shoulder during their candlelit dinner...

 

There seems to be a bit of a trend in Greenock of pubs doing/planning on doing things that nobody really seems to have any need for. The new bit in White Hats takes the piss, cannae even get a pint in it and the sign makes it look like a dodgy strip club. 


Edited by EanieMeany, 03 May 2018 - 09:33 AM.

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#73 K K Kelbie

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Posted 10 May 2018 - 07:44 PM

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The KKK Bin Pub Review #4 - The Carnock Bar

 

The Carnock is a bin pub that doesn't get much benefit from passing trade: mostly because from the outside it looks as if you'd get glassed after about two minutes. This has the benefit of meaning that you don't get a bunch of ****ing Zhivagos walking in and ruining the place with their Peroni-swilling fail. But here's a photo from their social media page to show the insides of this bin pub in all their glory instead:

 

23131822_1415747255214058_47561377187787

 

Good: Now this is a bin pub alright. A shelf of spirits and liqueurs that probably haven't been opened since 1974 is a good start. The small selection of beers, no ciders on tap and few other soft drinks puts this bin in the 'take it or leave it and **** off' category. But the service is friendly enough and the big boy measures are now the cheapest on Greater Greenock's Golden Mile, now that the s***ehouse has raised its prices by 20p for giving the place a lick of paint. One TV plays council telly football but it has kept a pool table and cues for recreation and sorting matters out at the end of the night. This is definitely a pit stop bin rather than your local. 

 

Bad: A disappointing lack of options on the wine list, with El D and its s***ey Lanarkshire stand in not primed and ready to go. Will this failure cost them when all the Ks are compiled at the end of the thread? Almost certainly yes. 

 

Rating: 3Ks out of 3. A much finer example of a Greenock pub than The Willow. Yet concerning news reaches the Raploch saying that the lease for this pub is being put out by its capitalist rentier scum owner, who will no doubt hand it to another Inverkip-based fanny to set up Greenock's first fugu and tap-dancing restaurant and ruin absolutely everything:  

 

http://www.rebecchil...gs.co.uk/?p=214

 

The Carnock - like all worthy bin pubs - deserves a better fate than this. 


Edited by K K Kelbie, 10 May 2018 - 07:44 PM.

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#74 K K Kelbie

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 07:34 PM

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The KKK Bin Pub Review #5 - The Thistle Bar

 

Firstly, readers who aren't clued up on the comings and goings of Greater Greenock's thriving bin pub scene will be wondering: where the **** is 'The Thistle Bar'? 

 

A: The Thistle is a bin pub on the site of the former Lynedoch Bar, which did a Rangers after either i) sectarian-based violence in the premises or ii) running a series of 'special' opening times and being caught by the pigs a few years ago. It doesn't open for the new-fangled 'derby' matches involving the bigots - which leaves this magnificent bin pristine for the rest of us during the year. 

 

64759_31753de3.jpg?w=2

 

43322741.jpg

 

maxresdefault.jpg

 

Good: As the picture suggests, the owners of The Thistle are trying very hard to make it something more than a bin pub - a super fun karaoke bar to be precise. But just like you can't take the Big Mags effect out of a Raploch wean, you can't take the 'bin' out of what used to be the ****ing Lynedoch either. When popular with the locals, the pub feels like its always one spilled pint away from a mass rammy. Which is exactly how it should be. 

 

The owners best intentions pay off in the service, which is undoubtedly the best available even by Greenock's magnificent standards in watering holes. Big boy measures of Smirnoff cost a mere £1.50 with pints at £2.50.  In return, guests are able to watch the football on Sky as well as BT Sport without having to use some buckshee box that the owner of the pub took out of a skip the night before, as well as having use of a pool table. At the moment they're flogging Tennents at £2 a pint and a Glens with dash for £1.40 - making it by far the cheapest pub in the town that doesn't serve Tiger.

 

Bad: Nothing to report from the official KKK visit. 

 

Mixed: The pub doesn't have an authentic wine list - El Dorado or Buckfast in their rightful storage conditions - but it does offer the inferior, English swill as part of a Bucky-bomb for £1.50. The official KKK Bin Pub Guide is agnostic about this situation. 

 

Rating: 3Ks out of 3. Offering all required amenities for a low price, big measures and a taste of malice in the air, The Thistle wins a hearty KKK stamp of approval as a bin pub. Anyone who chooses to trot along to the James Watt or even worse, that Tail of the Bank monstrosity instead of taking the brief detour up to it from Greenock's Golden Mile needs to take a long hard ****ing look at themselves. But the owners of The Thistle are making an effort - which means that for all its impeccable bin qualities it hasn't built up the character features that separate the best bins of all from the rest. Close but no cigar. 


Edited by K K Kelbie, 14 June 2018 - 03:52 PM.

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#75 TRVMP

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 07:38 PM

Will be sure to stop in next time I'm in Greenock.


Edited by TRVMP, 13 June 2018 - 07:41 PM.

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#76 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:19 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #5 - The Thistle Bar

 

Firstly, readers who aren't clued up on the comings and goings of Greater Greenock's thriving bin pub scene will be wondering: where the **** is 'The Thistle Bar'? 

 

A: The Thistle is a bin pub on the site of the former Lynedoch Bar, which did a Rangers after either i) sectarian-based violence in the premises or ii) running a series of 'special' opening times and being caught by the pigs a few years ago. It doesn't open for the new-fangled 'derby' matches involving the bigots - which leaves this magnificent bin pristine for the rest of us during the year. 

 

64759_31753de3.jpg?w=2

 

43322741.jpg

 

maxresdefault.jpg

 

Good: As the picture suggests, the owners of The Thistle are trying very hard to make it something more than a bin pub - a super fun karaoke bar to be precise. But just like you can't take the Big Mags effect out of a Raploch wean, you can't take the 'bin' out of what used to be the ****ing Lynedoch either. When popular with the locals, the pub feels like its always one spilled pint away from a mass rammy. Which is exactly how it should be. 

 

The owners best intentions pay off in the service, which is undoubtedly the best available even by Greenock's magnificent standards in watering holes. Big boy measures of Smirnoff cost a mere £1.50 with pints at £2.50.  In return, guests are able to watch the football on Sky as well as BT Sport without having to use some buckshee box that the owner of the pub took out of a skip the night before, as well as having use of a pool table. At the moment they're flogging Tennents at £1.50 a pint and a Glens with dash for £1.40 - making it by far the cheapest pub in the town that doesn't serve Tiger.

 

Bad: Nothing to report from the official KKK visit. 

 

Mixed: The pub doesn't have an authentic wine list - El Dorado or Buckfast in their rightful storage conditions - but it does offer the inferior, English swill as part of a Bucky-bomb for £1.50. The official KKK Bin Pub Guide is agnostic about this situation. 

 

Rating: 3Ks out of 3. Offering all required amenities for a low price, big measures and a taste of malice in the air, The Thistle wins a hearty KKK stamp of approval as a bin pub. Anyone who chooses to trot along to the James Watt or even worse, that Tail of the Bank monstrosity instead of taking the brief detour up to it from Greenock's Golden Mile needs to take a long hard ****ing look at themselves. But the owners of The Thistle are making an effort - which means that for all its impeccable bin qualities it hasn't built up the character features that separate the best bins of all from the rest. Close but no cigar. 

 

I also believe they are now offering a free taxi to Cappielow on a Saturday. The pub is clearly making an effort and deserves to be rewarded. 

 

The last time I was in there was the Sunday night of the last Rangers* game and there was a clear sense of malice in the air. An excellent pub. 


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#77 EanieMeany

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:30 PM

I also believe they are now offering a free taxi to Cappielow on a Saturday. The pub is clearly making an effort and deserves to be rewarded. 

 

The last time I was in there was the Sunday night of the last Rangers* game and there was a clear sense of malice in the air. An excellent pub. 

 

Could be wrong, but I think the guy who runs it might have a big 8 seater himself - they were offering free taxis to/from the pub a while ago too. Still haven't been in but will need to try to pop up...as you say, any pub making an effort is worth a bash.

 

It was in the Tele the other the day that one of the potential tenants of the Carnock wants to "tie in with the Morton support". It doesn't offer any more detail, but could be interesting. 


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#78 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:46 PM

Could be wrong, but I think the guy who runs it might have a big 8 seater himself - they were offering free taxis to/from the pub a while ago too. Still haven't been in but will need to try to pop up...as you say, any pub making an effort is worth a bash.

 

It was in the Tele the other the day that one of the potential tenants of the Carnock wants to "tie in with the Morton support". It doesn't offer any more detail, but could be interesting. 

 

That would make sense, it definitely solves the problem of The Thistle being out the way. I think folk have realised that The Lighthouse does a solid amount of trade off the back of their clear Morton allegiance and are looking to copy it. 


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#79 EanieMeany

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:48 PM

That would make sense, it definitely solves the problem of The Thistle being out the way. I think folk have realised that The Lighthouse does a solid amount of trade off the back of their clear Morton allegiance and are looking to copy it. 

 

 

The Lighthouse is pretty s***e, to be honest, so a half-decent pub with Morton leanings would be ideal.


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#80 BishopLenBrennan

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:51 PM

The Lighthouse is pretty s***e, to be honest, so a half-decent pub with Morton leanings would be ideal.

 

I don't mind the Lighthouse at all. They don't serve food so there's no families hanging around, the only issue is that certain bar staff have a zero-tolerance approach to Morton songs, which is shite patter in a Morton pub. 


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