The KKK Bin Pub Review #5 - The Thistle Bar
Firstly, readers who aren't clued up on the comings and goings of Greater Greenock's thriving bin pub scene will be wondering: where the **** is 'The Thistle Bar'?
A: The Thistle is a bin pub on the site of the former Lynedoch Bar, which did a Rangers after either i) sectarian-based violence in the premises or ii) running a series of 'special' opening times and being caught by the pigs a few years ago. It doesn't open for the new-fangled 'derby' matches involving the bigots - which leaves this magnificent bin pristine for the rest of us during the year.
Good: As the picture suggests, the owners of The Thistle are trying very hard to make it something more than a bin pub - a super fun karaoke bar to be precise. But just like you can't take the Big Mags effect out of a Raploch wean, you can't take the 'bin' out of what used to be the ****ing Lynedoch either. When popular with the locals, the pub feels like its always one spilled pint away from a mass rammy. Which is exactly how it should be.
The owners best intentions pay off in the service, which is undoubtedly the best available even by Greenock's magnificent standards in watering holes. Big boy measures of Smirnoff cost a mere £1.50 with pints at £2.50. In return, guests are able to watch the football on Sky as well as BT Sport without having to use some buckshee box that the owner of the pub took out of a skip the night before, as well as having use of a pool table. At the moment they're flogging Tennents at £2 a pint and a Glens with dash for £1.40 - making it by far the cheapest pub in the town that doesn't serve Tiger.
Bad: Nothing to report from the official KKK visit.
Mixed: The pub doesn't have an authentic wine list - El Dorado or Buckfast in their rightful storage conditions - but it does offer the inferior, English swill as part of a Bucky-bomb for £1.50. The official KKK Bin Pub Guide is agnostic about this situation.
Rating: 3Ks out of 3. Offering all required amenities for a low price, big measures and a taste of malice in the air, The Thistle wins a hearty KKK stamp of approval as a bin pub. Anyone who chooses to trot along to the James Watt or even worse, that Tail of the Bank monstrosity instead of taking the brief detour up to it from Greenock's Golden Mile needs to take a long hard ****ing look at themselves. But the owners of The Thistle are making an effort - which means that for all its impeccable bin qualities it hasn't built up the character features that separate the best bins of all from the rest. Close but no cigar.
Edited by K K Kelbie, 14 June 2018 - 03:52 PM.