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#1126879 Squad and transfers 2019/20

Posted by Jamie_M on 28 August 2019 - 02:31 PM

Someone on Facebook says they saw him limping at the Tesco petrol station.

You want to have heard his roar when he stopped the pump right on £20.
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#1125305 MCT Ask Me Anything

Posted by LargsTON on 06 August 2019 - 10:35 AM

Hopefully it covers a national Express one way ticket and a Ryanair flight to Amsterdam as well.
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#1031778 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by Toby on 03 May 2016 - 08:59 PM

Ten years on, and after spending the whole season in the play off positions without threatening to actually win the league, former manager Jim McInally's Peterhead fail spectacularly at the first hurdle once we get down to the nitty gritty. Can't think where I've seen this story before.


Another play off failure for oor Jim, better hope there are no sectarian bigots that are losing their patience in the Peterhead support.


Fantastic :D .

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#1102480 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by Toby on 14 October 2018 - 08:43 PM

Good luck to Duffy is what I say. Took us to the playoff and Hampden and seems a decent guy. He gets the Partick job then good luck to him.

Nah- I liked him too, but f*ck wishing a guy who could be going to one of our direct rivals well. especially a horrible wee club like them.

We’re Morton fans, not Jim Duffy fans. Hope he has a nightmare and they go down in the play offs, joining those peasants from Grangemouth in League One.
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#1093968 The KKK Bin Pub Review Thread

Posted by K K Kelbie on 13 June 2018 - 07:34 PM

The KKK Bin Pub Review #5 - The Thistle Bar


Firstly, readers who aren't clued up on the comings and goings of Greater Greenock's thriving bin pub scene will be wondering: where the **** is 'The Thistle Bar'? 


A: The Thistle is a bin pub on the site of the former Lynedoch Bar, which did a Rangers after either i) sectarian-based violence in the premises or ii) running a series of 'special' opening times and being caught by the pigs a few years ago. It doesn't open for the new-fangled 'derby' matches involving the bigots - which leaves this magnificent bin pristine for the rest of us during the year. 








Good: As the picture suggests, the owners of The Thistle are trying very hard to make it something more than a bin pub - a super fun karaoke bar to be precise. But just like you can't take the Big Mags effect out of a Raploch wean, you can't take the 'bin' out of what used to be the ****ing Lynedoch either. When popular with the locals, the pub feels like its always one spilled pint away from a mass rammy. Which is exactly how it should be. 


The owners best intentions pay off in the service, which is undoubtedly the best available even by Greenock's magnificent standards in watering holes. Big boy measures of Smirnoff cost a mere £1.50 with pints at £2.50.  In return, guests are able to watch the football on Sky as well as BT Sport without having to use some buckshee box that the owner of the pub took out of a skip the night before, as well as having use of a pool table. At the moment they're flogging Tennents at £2 a pint and a Glens with dash for £1.40 - making it by far the cheapest pub in the town that doesn't serve Tiger.


Bad: Nothing to report from the official KKK visit. 


Mixed: The pub doesn't have an authentic wine list - El Dorado or Buckfast in their rightful storage conditions - but it does offer the inferior, English swill as part of a Bucky-bomb for £1.50. The official KKK Bin Pub Guide is agnostic about this situation. 


Rating: 3Ks out of 3. Offering all required amenities for a low price, big measures and a taste of malice in the air, The Thistle wins a hearty KKK stamp of approval as a bin pub. Anyone who chooses to trot along to the James Watt or even worse, that Tail of the Bank monstrosity instead of taking the brief detour up to it from Greenock's Golden Mile needs to take a long hard ****ing look at themselves. But the owners of The Thistle are making an effort - which means that for all its impeccable bin qualities it hasn't built up the character features that separate the best bins of all from the rest. Close but no cigar. 

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#1074774 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by cmdc on 10 September 2017 - 12:43 PM

No idea but tastier than Burslem lobby I would think. No doubt GG is enjoying eating his humble pie though. That guy knows how to build a career.
Has he told you whether he likes Abba yet, I have him pegged as a Pet Shop Boys fan.

You seem like a bit of a dick.
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#1048109 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by vikingTON on 21 November 2016 - 11:50 PM

Pics or it didn't happen.

No, it simply happened. And no one in their right mind would give pictures to a creep like yourself anyway.

Back in your box then.
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#1048079 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by vikingTON on 21 November 2016 - 07:39 PM

Ed de Ball - posts: 531

Reputation: -1000 (Bad)


Another effortless victory for The Clique. 



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#1047654 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by LargsTON on 17 November 2016 - 07:48 PM

You can't be that good at it if you're still practicing.  :blink:

You must be an expert at giving Ernie a bawhum by now.
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#1116855 Why do you hate Falkirk?

Posted by Toby on 25 April 2019 - 11:06 AM

Right, here goes. Best way's probably to try and split it into categories;



Falkirk were of course the major victims of the formation of the SPL, and the stadium criteria which came in as a result. They were denied promotion in 2000 after finishing third in the First Division. In reality, they were denied a three-way play off place with 2nd placed Dunfermline and bottom placed Aberdeen for two places in the division. The rules had been set out a full two years before that, and they didn't comply with them. Was it a crap rule? Yes. Did they vote for it? Probably not, no. Did they accept their share of the compensation payout? Undoubtedly, yes. Nothing to complain about. If you object so strongly to the formation of a body that screws you around, don't allow said body to cross your palms with silver.


Then, they were subsequently denied promotion in 2003 after winning the First Division title because their stadium didn't comply and they were denied the opportunity to ground share with Airdrie at New Broomfield. Quite an injustice when you consider that the following season, the SPL allowed Inverness to share at Aberdeen. Of course they fail to mention that they were very fortunate to even be in the First Division that year, having only been saved by the demise of Airdrie. Inverness's promotion the following season lead to much bleating about the rules being changed to help someone else but screw them over. However, had the rules not been changed, they wouldn't have been allowed promotion in 2005, and even now, would still not be allowed to play top flight football, as they still don't have 10,000 covered seats in their council bus shelter.


The Stadium

The way their local council held them up in selling Brockville was a travesty. How on earth would they want to shaft their local club like that? Perhaps it's because the council actually owned a third of the ground and had a responsibility towards the local taxpayers, and not just the local football club.


But even still, throwing their £3.1 million share into the new ground? How much have they put into East Stirlingshire and Stenhousemuir? And they still complain about how the council are shafting them. They're very quick to remind fans of clubs that have been in administration that they paid everything they owed back. That's much easier to do when you have a council that's dishing out handouts to see you through.


The Managers

The first Falkirk manager I remember was Jim Duffy, followed by Jim Jeffries, who admittedly put together a very good team, which won the league in 1991. After that, Alex Totten was an absolute weapon. The man was an absolute master at playing the victim. It seemed like a weekly occurrence that you'd put Football First on and hear him bleating about how his "good honest bunch o' lads" couldn't possibly compete in a league with such behemoths as Airdrie, Clydebank and Morton, all of whom were on their knees at the time. There was one time I even remember him complaining that they couldn't compete with us for signings because Dundee United were good enough to give us Stephen McConalogue on loan whilst paying his full wage so we could get a team on the park. Heaven forbid that someone could possibly be operating in more trying circumstances than poor Falkirk. He's a friend of my brother's father in law, who told me a few years ago about his health struggles. It was a bit of a job for me to hide my indifference.


After that, there was Ian McCall, who was tapped up by Dundee United, much to their fury. Sound familiar?


Scottish born Republic of Ireland international Owen Coyle and John "Yogi" Hughes were next. No prizes for guessing what I don't like about Coyle, but Hughes was a wank. A chest puncher who shouted about "standards" at his club when in actual fact, he ran about with his tadger out on TV in his playing days. Get that hard drive searched, he's definitely OFTW.


Pressley was the prick's prick, if he was chocolate he'd eat himself. I doubt I need to go into too much detail about any reasons for disliking him. Most will feel the same.


Houston never bothered me too much, but he is a beetroot faced wall-puncher whose time here hasn't endeared him to me.


Hartley I didn't mind until his outburst about the 10-2 game. Taking over at Them just cemented my disdain for him.


Then Raymond. Rat.


The Fans

What a shower. My two particular favourites on P&B are roman_bairn and Gaz FFC, but they're not alone. Pair of bell ends. Like others, the Marino Keith game was significant in forming my opinion of them. The atmosphere was poisonous that day. Brockville was never the most welcoming either, although much more enjoyable than their current bus shelter. I particularly remember the last ever visit there, a 3-1 midweek win when we were in the enclosure at the front of the stand and being spat on by the locals was we celebrated.


Nowadays they're not the most endearing either of course. I had the misfortune of sharing the train to and from the 1-0 win in October, and whilst they were no worse than myself and my mates have been, but I'm prepared to be a hypocrite on this one. They were bastards.


All week I've thought about how miserable Saturday's win would've made that fat, specky, Peppa Pig lookalike moron with the lilac Stone Island jacket that was goading everyone in the Norseman before the 1-1 game. It's given me a warm glow inside, get it up him.


The Taboo Subject

It's been alluded to elsewhere on the thread, but I'm not prepared to give my opinion on Falkirk's role in The Taboo Subject on a public forum. Those who are friendly with me will know.


There's probably more, but that'll do for now.

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#1111672 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by dunning1874 on 22 February 2019 - 05:02 AM

Morning all.


Greenock Morton, First Division, Season 2008/09

Jenkins in the starting 11: P20, W11, D5, L4
Jenkins not in the starting 11: P16, W1, D6, L9
I’m sure that’s just a coincidence though and he definitely wasn’t carrying us by virtue of being the best midfielder at the club by a mile.

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#1068091 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by dunning1874 on 29 May 2017 - 07:01 AM

Dunning. Stats please.


My pleasure.


First Division games in 2008/09


Jenkins in the starting 11: P20, W11, D5, L4
Jenkins not in the starting 11: P16, W1, D6, L9
Average players don't make that much of a difference to a side. He absolutely carried us that season and he was doing it while playing alongside diddies like Masterton in midfield. Take Allan Jenkins out of that team and we'd have been relegated by a mile, no doubt about it.

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#1062981 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by Deego on 09 April 2017 - 08:41 PM

Also Alan Lithgow, did he play a couple of games for us?





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#1047667 Thread About Ex Player

Posted by Guest on 17 November 2016 - 11:02 PM

As a practicing catholic I think your comments are disgusting and offensive. Irony is that you've got an Irish surname.

Hypocrisy alert.

I wonder if any practicing Muslims have ever taken offence at some of your comments on this miserable outpost of the internet, not to mention some more of yours about 'short changing Asian shopkeepers' and 'smelly Romanians'. I consider that prejudice in each and every form, directed at any particular group of fellow human beings is worthy of outright condemnation. Don't you?

I say this as a practicing Atheist - I gather that you're not too fond of them either. :lol: 

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#1035188 What Are You Listening To At The Moment?

Posted by capitanus on 28 June 2016 - 06:14 PM

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#1126757 Poor wee Rangers

Posted by vikingTON on 25 August 2019 - 08:56 PM

It gets sang up and down both scotland and England by a multitude of teams. Its a timeless classic.


In terms of clubs up and down Scotland I can only recall the following outfits singing a variant, in approximate order of significance to their general songbook:




The Dundee 'Derry Boys'


The Famous


Given the undoubtedly staunch nature of three of the above institutions and Kilmarnock's more than significant association through 'fairweather fans' as well, I'd put decent money on Airdrie in at least one of their failed guises having joined in the party as well. But seeing as they haven't actually had a fanbase to speak of in the last fifteen years its a bit difficult to confirm. 


It's quite clearly a song associated with outfits that we shouldn't be getting tarred with though. And - more importantly to my point on P and B - it's just diabolical and functionally useless patter as well. If people want to sing it then that's entirely up to them but they pretty much forfeit their right to complain about just about anything else associated with the club by the fanbase as a result: including the drum and vlog outputs as well. 












* d. 2012

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#1125982 The Tunnock's Caramel Wafer Challenge Cup 19/20

Posted by EanieMeany on 14 August 2019 - 12:36 PM

Quite. If the ties were being played in March/April then the 'put out the weans' argument would hold some merit. But it's going to have little/no impact on our league campaign, and it gives supporters a cracking chance for a weekend away on the piss somewhere we've not been before (preferably outwith the country). It's strange that the guys who enjoyed pre-season trips like Whitley Bay now scorn younger fans for wanting a similar type of jolly. 



And what's wrong with that?


Indeed. It's hardly as if we're watching the 1960 European Cup final every week, a novelty away day is a perfectly valid thing to be interested in.

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#1125463 Morton Q+A at The Beacon

Posted by LargsTON on 08 August 2019 - 01:23 PM

Funnily enough folks, I don't disagree with any of you - to call the chap concerned "some gormless shit-for-brains individual" is perhaps a bit harsh on him and undeserved - after all, he will most likely be a decent guy who means well whilst the idea itself is still crap, albeit with good intent.
However, it begs the question:
If 'ivry buddy chips in munny' were a panacea for all of Morton's problems then why wasn't this done 20 year ago?
If this wasn't Graham McLellan, who has made himself a local celebrity on the strength of this garbage idea - and was someone like Salty or Dr. Zhivago instead, would any of you be so concerned that I went a bit OTT by calling him "some gormless shit-for-brains individual"? I doubt it very much.

There is absolutely nothing "garbage" about potentially shedding our club of debt within the next 2 years.
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#1124539 Squad and transfers 2019/20

Posted by vikingTON on 26 July 2019 - 10:42 AM

So, the patter that Warren Hawke was giving it at the Q&A, about Dykes being the callibre of player we want to bring in and develop, was indeed fucking nonsense?

Usual pish from him.

10:46: the 'thur talkin' aboot ma mate Hawwwke' Batsignal suddenly appears over the Greenock skyline.



10:51 - the caped crusader himself arrives!

I don't think the signing was that baffling. He was a young player we took a punt on when we needed numbers.

Erm no. Dykes is a central midfielder; the very last position where we 'needed numbers' last season. We had Millar, McAlister, King Snake and Telfer all signed as key first-team player wages, and Lyon had already made his mark against Queen of the South at Palmerston before the window opened. It was an idiotic signing that had nothing to do with addressing squad depth at all.  

I think that shows him backing the manager and his opinion rather than him dishing out contracts for the sake of it.


The club is heading into the final weeks of the season and is yet to even confirm its Championship status for next season, due to the incompetence of a manager that the board - quite clearly - was no longer convinced was up to the job. You're a gormless chief executive from the north east of England, do you:


i) sign off on a twelve month contract extension for the lovechild of the current manager, even though both the club and the manager's situation is not yet established beyond the start of May or

ii) refuse to do anything of the sort until the season is over and the club can fully assess its options


If you chose i) then congratulations! You've just put the cherry on top of a thoroughly useless spell at the club and will now be emptied from the club yourself as a result. But never fear - your community trust lackeys can still be trusted to white knight for you long after your abysmal tenure has come to an end. 

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#1117762 Why do you hate Falkirk?

Posted by LargsTON on 02 May 2019 - 07:53 AM

I don’t!

Mods, please.
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